


Recovery

by Pokypup49



Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dark Thoughts, Emotional, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Mind Games, nate and elena
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-02-06 14:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12819078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokypup49/pseuds/Pokypup49
Summary: This is really around Elena and her recovery from UC2, but everyone is recovering. There will be emotional expressions from all sides. It's going to be a bit dark. I'm rating it Mature for safe keeping, and there will be intimate scenes and memories.





	1. She Wakes Up

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Uncharted. Please don't rub it in.

 

                There was a musky scent of incense. She’d smelled it before, had actually become fond of it, but she couldn’t decipher where it originated it from. She felt suspended, bodiless, everywhere, yet contained. She couldn’t define any of her surroundings, but she could sense them. There was that familiar incense smell. The air felt dense, smoky, closed, and dark. She could hear people coming in and out. One voice was most common. It soothed her, talked to her, though she could not respond. She wished the most that she could wake when she heard his steps, heard his tone, and felt his touch. His touch. In her complete absence of form, she melted under his touch. She felt light, weightless, and free.

                When her eyes did open, she was alone. Where she was before there was no pain, but as her eyes opened as she moved, her whole body screamed. Her voice, however, was lost and she just gasped as she stopped immediately to reassess her current situation. The room was lighter than she expected. There was a cool breeze blowing through the open window and some pretty wool curtains waved gently. The incense that she had familiarized with burned slowly nearby. At least there was that familiarity between the two worlds. She tried again to sit up but more sharp pain caused her to collapse back into the bed. She felt the blankets, heavier in weight, some kind of wool. She looked around and took in a slow breath. She wished she wasn’t alone. She wished for a voice, a touch, that she knew so well… but he was not there.

                The next time she woke, there was a young girl. She didn’t say anything, just watched as the girl color on a piece of paper. She didn’t recognize the girl right away, but her brain ticked, trying feverishly to remember her. The girl, short with black hair pulled back into a braid, wearing a colorful dress, didn’t seem to notice her gaze, so she didn’t call out to her. Then something snapped and she opened her mouth as she recognized the girl. She had given the girl those crayons! But still, she didn’t say anything. She just smiled as she watched the girl hum and color.

                Then a man walked in. He was taller, darker dressed, but had a soft welcoming face though his dark features. He raised his arms as he said something that she didn’t catch and walked quickly over to her. This whole time, Elena was unaware of her clothing. It didn’t dawn on her that she wasn’t really wearing anything. She felt bandages around her, but she felt suddenly self-conscious. Tenzin tried to encourage her to sit up, but Elena waved him off and declined. He then handed her some tea, which was strong to taste, but felt good on her empty stomach. She could understand him, for the most part. He told her that she’d been mostly asleep for just under four days and that she needed to drink the tea. He told her that he’d bring her some food and that he needed to change her bandages. As he left, possibly to get supplies, she looked around the room for something to wear.

                “You are awake.”

                There was that familiar voice, that soothing tone that had calmed her while she was suspended. Elena looked up to see Nathan walk in.

                “Tenzin said you were awake.”

                Elena nodded.

                “How are you feeling?”

                Elena looked at him for a minute before responding. He was the one solid thing in her life that she was completely comfortable with. His brown hair was mostly a mess, but he was clean shaven. His clothes were dirty and had some kind of hair on it. His blue eyes were full of concern, but his touch was caring and gentle. He smiled, but she knew he felt just as uncomfortable as she was, probably scared too. All the past weeks’ memories flooded her. She fell back as she felt greatly overwhelmed. “I think I’m alive,” she responded as she stared at the ceiling.

                Nate, in his casual ways, nodded. “You sure are.”

                She then tried to sit up more, holding the blankets close to her body. Her wounds caused her to groan but as she settled into a sitting position, she sighed as the pain slowly decreased. Nate reached out in a short panic to assist her but Elena raised her hand to stop him. “I got it,” she whispered. “But you can find me some clothes…”

                Nathan chuckled. “We have been changing your bandages twice a day for a while, it was easier to leave you bare.” He sat down on a stool next to her and leaned in to speak with her. “We didn’t do anything to you. We were trying to help.”

                She nodded, knowing that it was the truth.

                “I will find you something to wear,” he said and he patted her thigh. “Are you feeling better?”

                Elena nodded and looked back up at him. “Yeah… just starting to remember…”

                He bit his lip. There was too much to go over, and he didn’t want to overwhelm her. He stood up and as he moved to the door, Tenzin came back in with clean cloths. He waved it at Nate, handing it to him, before turning and heading back out, the little girl following him this time. He turned slowly, smiled nervously, and lifted the bandages to show Elena. “You know,” he smirked as he sat back down on the stool. “In the couple days you have been out, I’ve learned a little.”

                “Oh,” Elena coughed out a laugh as she watched his facial characteristics. He was searching for her approval, unsure of how to proceed. She, honestly, was too, but she wasn’t going to make it more nerve wrecking than it had to be.

                “Yeah,” he scratched his cheek. “I think he said he was going to find your clothes…”

                Elena giggled. She didn’t hear everything Tenzin had said, but she did hear "clothes."

                “I’m, uhm… I’m going to change your bandages…” Nate lifted the bandages again. “It’s going to be easier now that you are awake…”

                She wanted to argue with him. She wanted to take the bandages and do it herself, but the pain was sharp and unforgiving. She only nodded and sighed. She lowered the blanket as Nathan grabbed some salve from a shelf. She didn’t dare look down at herself. She instead watched Nate’s reaction her to skin and wounds. He didn’t grimace or frown, that was a good start. He instead motioned for her to lift her arms as he began to unwrap her. She could see the rusty red stains on the cloth. Old blood. She looked up, tucking some hair behind her ear. “Oh God,” she whined.

                “Sorry,” Nate growled at himself. “I’m not trying to hurt you.”

                She giggled as a response. “No. My hair…”

                Nate stopped to look at her hair. He hadn’t noticed.

                “It’s greasy and all messed up.”

                Nate smiled. “I think it’s nice.”

                “You’re such an ass.”

                He went back to pulling another bandage off. It was tender, she would admit. But it wasn’t as bad as she thought.

                “Is it possible that I can bathe before you re-wrap me?”

                Nate stopped and thought for a second. “Yeah,” he nodded. “I think so.”

                She felt his fingers pull the bandage from her breasts, exposing her chest to him. But he didn’t flinch or gaze too long. Maybe they weren’t as pretty as they were before. He used to just stare at them before…. He stood up, motioning for her to cover up. He helped wrap a blanket around her and leaned over, slipping his arms under her, picking her up in his arms. This was a new experience for Elena. She was not the type of woman to be coddled and held like this. But for her first time since waking to see Nathan Drake, Elena let her breath get taken away.

                He took her outside. The air was crisp but refreshing. The bath was not far. It was a round tub, with a wood fire under it. They saw Tenzin and Nate tried to tell him “bath.” Elena corrected him and Tenzin immediately showed him to the house. Nate sat by the tub with her as Tenzin started a fire to warm the water. He continued to pull the bandages off, one by one, till she was bare. She wasn’t actually embarrassed since her and Nathan had relations before. But the sensation of the bandages coming off were sensual and refreshing. Nate was soft about it. He took the task more grown up and mature than she had expected from him.

                Once in the bath, however, he took a turn, leaning against the wooden edging and smirked. “So… Do you need help in there too?”

                Elena laughed out loud though that hurt. “No,” she rolled her eyes. “I just want to soak and wash. Come back and get me in thirty minutes.”

                Nate laughed and nodded.

                But Elena needed her time alone to analyze her situation. There was a lot to take in. It was fine while she was in the suspension of white. There was little to think about. She just existed. She had memories, but they were not forceful or important. These memories seemed to lash out at her, demand attention and decoding. There was a memory of this place… Shambala… an old man… Schafer… and an explosion. She closed her eyes as she could see the oversized men dressed as apes scream and run after them. She felt the heat on her skin, the shrapnel pierce her skin in a hot rip, burning as it lodged itself into her. Her hands slid down her body as she felt the scars. How was she supposed to deal with that? Then a face appeared. Jeff. _Dear God_ , she thought as she felt a tear run down her face. _Jeff._

                She allowed herself to slip under the water. Her hands grabbed her hair, tangled and oily, and ran her fingers through them as she surfaced again. She felt nasty, yucky, and dirty. The water wasn’t warm enough, but it wasn’t cold, so she didn’t complain. There was some kind of soap on a shelf and she used it on her hair, lathering it over and over again. In her head, she kept seeing his face, smiling and laughing with her. _Jeff_. She took the bar of soap and washed her arms, but the movement for her hair was already too painful, so she stopped. Despite her best efforts to wash and feel better, feeling her scarred body, and her scarred mind, she felt weak and broken. She wanted to cry, but that too hurt. Everything had its own painful stab. She dropped beneath the surface again rinsing her hair. She heard his voice. She could see them, sitting in a hotel in Pakistan, going over evidence. He was happy-go-lucky, with the same go get them attitude. As she surfaced for air, she breathed in too deep causing her to hiss in pain. At least he wasn’t in pain… not anymore.

                The bath took more energy out of her than she expected. Nate helped her out, and in the same careful fashion, wrapped clean bandages over the necessary scars. Thanks to the bath and her trying to walk on her own, she reopened a wound and Nate was quick to lecture her on taking it easy as he, again, carried her to her bed. They found a nightgown, something baggy but more than nothing on her. She painfully crawled into bed, sipping some strong tea. Her body felt heavy, cold, and achy. She curled up the best she could in her blankets, and although she tried her best to drink some broth, she found herself nodding off instead of drinking. Tenzin and his daughter were playing a simple game. Chloe and Nate were standing by the door talking and watching the game. However, she noticed that Nate keep looking at her, and not at Chloe. He kept sneaking peaks at her with a soft smile as if he wished it was her next to him. But Elena was dozing fast. She wanted to stay awake and be part of the group, but her body was objecting hard. As her eyes finally shut without motivation to open again till tomorrow, she drifted back into sleep.


	2. Sullivan Arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sully arrives in Nepal to help Nate, and notices he needs some support more than just help getting home.

                After Sullivan had heard what happened, he made his way quickly to them. Actually, he was there to pay for their way off the mountain. Nathan was broke, Sully knew that, and Elena was recovering from her experience. Nate met him at the train drop off point and hiked up with him. It was early morning, and they stopped, mostly due to Sully’s need for a cigar and/or a breath, and sat down on some rocks to watch the sunrise.

                Sully studied Nate as they sat there. It was quiet, silent even. Nate seemed to have a long-lost look on his face as if he was in deep thought. He looked good though, happy to an extent. His hair was clean, he had shaved, and his clothes were cleaner than Sullivan had expected. He looked well rested, with no dark bags under the eyes, and no slouch in his posture. But Nathan’s eye betrayed him. He had something on his mind.

                “How’s Elena doing?” Sullivan had to ask. He was sure that was what Nate was thinking about. And knowing Nate, he knew the guy was going to worry about her. He was going to blame himself for the whole event, and so, making it his responsibility to heal her to rid himself of his own guilt.

                Nate turned and smiled, his eyes brightened at the recalling of Elena. “She’s doing much better than we all thought.” He chuckled and turned back to the sunrise. “She’s getting antsy. She wants to go home.”

                Sully laughed. “I’m sure!” He drew from his cigar and rubbed his mustache with the other hand. “Is she well enough to move?”

                Nate nodded. “She’s getting there. Probably more than she should…” He looked down at his hands. There was that guilt that Sully knew of.

                He coughed, sat up straighter, and drew from his cigar again, blowing out a dense puff into the breeze. “She has a long road ahead of her. She’ll be feeling it for months.” He peered from the corner of his eyes to see Nate hadn’t moved. “Do you remember Roger? Roger Dill?”

                Nate looked up, feeling the sun’s warmth on his face. “Yeah, Roger. He’s the one that we met in Poland a couple years back?”

                Sullivan nodded. “Believe it or not, but we were really good friends to begin with. We met when I was working for Marlowe. She’d hired him as an explosives specialist.” Sully burst into laughter as he waved the cigar between his fingers at the mountains. “Now that’s a guy who’s been blown up a few times.”

                Nate raised an eyebrow. “A few times?”

                Sully nodded with another puff of smoke. “He was a guy I could really rely on. If something needed to be kept secret and done correctly, I could call him. There was one time you and…. “Sully coughed as he looked at Nate sympathetically, “Sam… went off…” His voice trailed as he saw Nate’s body drop and he sighed. “Anyway, I called Roger to help me get through a minefield.”

                Nate nodded and rubbed his face.

                “I figured that a guy who specialized in explosives could help me get through some jungle with a few mines…” Sully shook his head and looked seriously at Nate. “When that bomb went off, my heart stopped. There was my friend, a good friend, in a bloody pile of flesh and shrapnel.”

                Nate looked up, raising his eyebrows. “He doesn’t look like he’d been blown up.”

                “Here’s, the thing kid, the bomb tore through his artery.” Sully pointed at his leg with his two fingers holding the cigar. “Tore right through his right side.”

                “That’s why he limped so badly…”

                Sully nodded and rubbed his mustache. “I felt awful for a long time.” They sat quietly, Nathan hearing Sully smoke his cigar. He kicked a rock and they watched it tumble down the hill, catching speed as it went. “I had a hard time taking you to those kinds of places because I didn’t want to see you dead.”

                “How did he not die?”

                “Oh, we were both old military hounds. We applied a tourniquet and I dragged him to the car and rushed him the hospital. It took him over a year before he could walk again.” Sully softly hit Nate on the shoulder with a grin. “And up until Poland, he was always there for me.” Sully stood up, putting out his cigar. “Point is, Nathan, is that Elena will be fine. She’s not going to blame you for the rest of her life for this. She’s probably going to love you more for it. She will respect you for being there for her.”

                Nate stood up, brushing some dirt off his pants. “As long as I don’t take her to Poland?”

                There was that sarcasm. Sully laughed, though he knew it was there to hide Nathan’s fears. “Just don’t take her to Poland,” he repeated. He looked up the hill. “How much farther do we have to climb here?”

                Nate patted his friend on the back. “Come-on, it’s up around this bend.”

                “Heard that too many times before.”

                Nate showed Sullivan where Elena was and said he had to go find Chloe before running off. It didn’t mind Sully. The kid was dealing with the things the way he did best. He hadn’t planned on staying in the village long. He had other business to conduct. But he wanted to evaluate Elena’s condition to see if they could get her home sooner. He walked through the doorway to see Elena sitting in her bed, fully dressed.

                “Hey you,” he greeted quietly.

                Elena looked up and smiled excitedly. “Sully!”

                “Hey,” he chuckled. “How are you feeling?”

                “Pent-up,” she quickly admitted. “I was going to go for a stretch, walk around for a little.”

                “You sure you will be okay?” Sully sat next to her. He looked her over, noticing how she was holding herself, her posture, her tone, and her eyes. She looked delicate and fragile, but enthusiastic and ready.

                Elena nodded. “Don’t you let Nate tell you otherwise. He insists on me staying in bed. If I stay there any longer, I’m afraid I will forget how to walk!”

                Sully laughed. “We can’t have the beautiful Elena Fisher not walking!”

                Elena tried to laugh with him but ended up coughing and groaning, holding her ribs. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and it hurt Sully to see her like this. He knew she was in pain. He knew she was also feeling pent up. As she stopped coughing, she smiled weakly back at Sullivan. “I’m okay,” she whimpered.

                He sighed. He patted her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “You look amazing as always,” he reassured her.

                Elena rolled her eyes and waved him off. “You don’t have to suck up to me, Sully. I already like you.”

                He chuckled again and held out his hand. “If you are going to go for a walk, at least let me walk with you.”

                Elena nodded as she pulled herself to stand. She groaned, sighed, and reached for his arm. “So, what brought her to the beautiful Himalayas?”

                He patted her hand on his arm. “Sometimes even the brave Nathan Drake needs saving…”

                She only giggled as a response and allowed him to lead her to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sully has always played the "father figure." But I wanted to write one on how he was feeling and what he noticed when he arrived. I know it's short. I do think Sully deserves more than one chapter. But we have others to hear from.


	3. Chloe's feeling of betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe has her own feelings to deal with as she watches Nate abandon her for his ex.

                 She knew she had lost him when they ran into Elena Fisher in that village, by pure coincidence. But she doubted herself. She knew he loved her, but, that was one of Nathan’s greatest faults: he loved easily. She loved him too. She knew that moment when they met, her grasp on him was faltering, but she tried to ignore her own intuition. Her love for him was truer than anyone else she had been with at the time. As Nathan was, she enjoyed his antics and his sarcasm. And while it lasted, before Elena Fisher, it seemed he loved her too. They had had a relationship before. It was more impromptu, but she loved his passion. Then, she came back into his life, and Chloe knew she’d lost him again.

                Chloe stood in some spring grass, a gentle breeze playing with her hair, and the tall Himalayans towered over her. She leaned against a rock wall as she thought back, trying to figure out where she went wrong, and how this all happened. She scoffed as she thought about. It was karma if she ever admitted it. She left him the first time. But this time, she felt they held the most chance.

                She frowned as she thought about him trying to save Jeff. Then her being hauled off. She was so angry for several reasons. She did think for a moment that he was gone, that Lazarevic had killed him. But it was a greater disappointment in Nathan. She felt betrayed. He had clearly chosen to dance with someone else, even though she was the one who had gotten him that far. It hurt. And while on that train, trapped with Flynn, she fumed. She swore to never rely on a man again. She didn’t need anyone else. After all, she trusted Nathan above anyone else.

                 She looked down at her hands as they fidgeted. One memory was hard to remember. She had watched Flynn shoot him. Still fighting with her feelings of regret, betrayal, and love, she never wanted to see him hurt. As Flynn threw her to the ground, and took another shot at Nate, sending more men after him, Chloe found herself in tears. She remembered how Flynn just yelled at her, furious that she was upset. But she couldn’t hold it together anymore. She laid against the wall, sobbing heavily, unable to stop until her energy ran out. And it did make Flynn angry. He was angry enough to threaten to let Lazarevic have her, kill her, rape her, whatever he wanted. “Because if you aren’t mine, I’m not protecting you!” Chloe shuttered as she remembered his anger. She knew he was angry when she was found with him, but now it was out of control.

                Chloe would admit too, she was not the emotional type. She was rational and all business. She wasn’t one on any occasion to stop to cry, or admire, or to remember even. She prided herself on her work. For her to lose it, especially in front of Flynn, she felt weak and exposed for that moment. She was suddenly very vulnerable. This was not okay. And when she saw Nate was alive, she was sure to give him a good glare. No one had ever brought her to such a low point. She could admit that she’d done it to herself before, but never had someone else brought her to that low of a point in her career.

This whole trip had been a bit more emotional than she preferred. She knew how she felt however when Elena was too close to Flynn’s grenade. She was livid to see Nate run to her aide and start his emotional collapse _. I’m sorry_ , she had thought _. Out of anyone ever in my life whom I’ve ever trusted so much… And you seem to have forgotten me?_ Of course, who was he to know that he brought her to tears, to be sworn at and yelled at by the same guy that blew up his ex-girlfriend. Wait! Wasn’t that enough? A current girlfriend to an ex-girlfriend? Shouldn’t she be his current concern? However, there was less time to fight with Nate, as Elena laid groaning in his arms. That’s when Chloe had to put her own personal feelings aside and she knew she needed to help. This was the woman was a friend of Nate’s. So, she felt inclined to help. And as she carried Elena’s bleeding body around, she fought against leaving her. But it wasn’t like her. As much as Chloe didn’t like playing “hero,” she wasn’t a “bad guy” either. And she wasn’t going to hurt Nate more than he already was.

                By that point, Chloe was actually feeling friendly towards Elena. They made small talk, trusted each other, but Chloe realized how much control Elena had over him once they had escaped the Yeti monsters and Lazarevic. They were friends by… proxy per say. They were just working towards the same goal of getting out alive. So, when Elena told Nathan to go after Lazarevic and his men, and Nate agreed, Chloe wanted to explode. She wanted to jump up and down, scream, throw anything, and everything, at Nate. She wanted to ball up her fist and hit the bastard. Did he not realize that if he had followed her plan, to begin with, none of this would have ever happened? If he would have just listened to her… Chloe actually laughed as she thought, _that’s Nathan though. He’s never doing what anyone wants…_

                Now she was at a village, in the high Himalayan mountains, wondering what to do next. She couldn’t stay with Nathan. He was still true to her, and he’d always be there for her, she knew this to be true. But it wasn’t meant to be. She wiped a tear that ran down her face and curled a strand of hair behind her ear. He loved Elena, and that was something that Chloe was going to have to accept. She couldn’t make Nathan love her. And as much as he tried to keep her the last time they were together, he left her. So, in a way, this evened them up. She smirked. If they ever got back together, maybe it would work. They’d be starting at zero again.

She rubbed her chin as she thought and stood up from the wall. The last few days had been a struggle for her new friend, Elena. Chloe, being a woman, was always in there changing her bandages and making sure she stayed hydrated. She heard her call his name, and he asked about her often. It was clear as day they were meant for each other. Yet, she continued to do what was best and care for Elena.

                She watched as Nathan carried her to the bath, helped her, and dressed her. She watched as he fixed her food and tea. Though she was doing it also, it pained her more to see Nathan go out of his way for her. It was a week of emotions. He came over to her one day, holding her hand as they walked, but she could tell he was very distracted and bothered too. Maybe he was feeling the same confusion she was. No, he was. He certainly was. Chloe nodded as she laughed softly to herself. As blunt as Nathan was emotionally, he’d never forget Elena.

                Chloe started walking towards the lodging area. She could see Nathan walking with Sullivan up the hill towards the village. She stopped to watch him from that distance. Nate told her, “Sully will take Elena home.” But as Chloe watched his steps, fast and determined, she felt a little of her heart die. He wasn’t walking so strongly for her. All the fighting, all the doubts in Chloe’s head… They were gone. She knew right there when she met Elena that it was over. She’d lost him. And now, watching him hike to her cabin, Chloe smiled. She had to accept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this ready last week, but we too excited to wait to publish it. I know this is short too. I'm not too happy that I didn't for to spend that much time with Chloe, but I have plans for her later.  
> I hope that this story is entertaining everyone. Let me know what you think and watch out later this week for the next chapter.


	4. Back on the Train

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena's not only the one having problems dealing with with what happened. Nate has some thinking to do himself.

                There was more than enough going on in Nathan’s head for him to be just alright. And if it wasn’t for Chloe, he imagined himself a little more broken. But it wasn’t Chloe that he was thinking of, and that built a bit of guilt within him. He still had far too many feelings for Elena, and he should have admitted to them, at least to himself, when they met in that city. But Nate always had relationship problems and knowing that he was never with one person long enough bothered him. The only consistency that he ever had was Sully. So, of course, he was going to try to work things out with Chloe; it made sense to him.

                He looked down to his shoulder where a blonde head laid and he smiled. Maybe Chloe was always the more mature one out of the two of them. He didn’t know if he’d be able to just let go and tell her to go with her ex. And he wanted to make it work. His hand rested on his hip, his hand covering a new scar. He looked down at his hand as he noticed the placement. Not only was Sully quick to tell him it’s not good business to get shot, but he never wanted that to happen again. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, but could only see his blood all over his hands. It jerked him awake and a slight twinge of pain shot through his side. Nathan frowned at this. He knew, and Chloe knew, he wasn’t sleeping well. But she encouraged him to shave and to bathe, to make himself look good and it’d help him feel good. So, although he looked good on the outside, he was plagued with grim dreams and recent memories.

                He rubbed his eyes with a spare hand and looked down the aisle of the train. The rocking made him tired. Elena passed out as soon as she sat down. He didn’t blame her, and neither did Sully. But, as Nathan tried, he feared sleep. He leaned his head against Elena’s smelling her hair quietly. It brought a smile to his face. He remembered how she smelled. He remembered many things, like how she liked sweet strawberries, not tart ones. And how she liked chocolate milk, but never drank it outside her home. He grinned. In fact, he only saw her drink it during movies on the couch. He remembered that the right pile of clothes on her floor were clean clothes, and the left was the dirty pile. He chuckled in his chest. The most he knew about Chloe personally is that she was not a flowers girl or chocolate. But she was a pizza girl.

                He felt his eyes flutter as he took in a deeper breath and started falling asleep. The rocking of the train was soothing, relaxing, and the natural hum of his surroundings didn’t bother him. He told himself over and over there weren’t any threats, bombs, bad guys… he was safe... Elena was safe. He dreamt he could hear explosions, his body twitched as he flinched in his dream. He saw Flynn laughing, holding a grenade. He tried his best to get to Elena, who stood nearby, so far away from him. No matter how fast he ran, the grenade seemed to still be dropping, and he could hear Elena screaming. Then he felt a sharp pain his side and he looked at his hands, dripping with blood. The whole area was red, dripping with blood, and Elena in the middle, laying on her back, coughing and hacking.

                As he jerked awake, taking a deep breath as he awoke, he jostled Elena awake. He rubbed his face and looked around. Sully had taken the seat next to him and was staring concernedly at him. “I’m guessing you weren’t dreaming about coconuts and beach umbrellas,” he said, his voice laced with concern.

                Nate looked away. He bit his lip as he tried to understand what it could mean, if it had any meaning at all. He looked instead at Elena who yawned and looked up at him. She smiled gently and looked around, trying to gain balance and understanding of where she was. “Bathroom,” she whispered.

                Nate nodded, stood up and held out his hand to help her up. She was walking better, but he still wanted to have a hand out for her. As she stood, she let go of Nate’s hand, waved him off as if his was in her way, and made her way down the aisle. Nate watched, tempted to follow her, but she had already told him he was suffocating her. “I can’t get better if you don’t let me walk and stretch. I’ll be fine.”

                Nate then looked at his friend.

                “Why aren’t you sleeping?”

                Nate looked confused, not because he didn’t think he wasn’t sleeping well, but more to the fact that how did Sullivan know?

                “Having bad dreams?” Sully put his book down and turned to look at Nate squarely. “What’s going on?”

                Nate sighed and looked back at Elena going into the bathroom. “Just nightmares. I’ll get over them.” Sully grumped as a response, earning a raised eyebrow from Nate. “What,” he asked, with more attitude than it should.

                “Look, Kid, I’ve been doing this for a hell of a long time.”

                “Oh,” Nate rolled his eyes. “Here we go…”

                “Now listen to me,” Sully growled. “Shit happens, and no one likes it when it does.”

                “So what,” Nate snapped back, interrupting Sully. “I’m just supposed to get over it?”

                Sully glared at his younger companion. “No,” he said easily. “You’re supposed to deal with it. Stop lying to yourself. Stop lying to the people that care about you.”

                Nate lowered his head and fiddled a little with his hands. “I almost lost her…”

                Sully nodded. They sat quietly, Nate still not making eye contact with Sully. Sullivan watched Nate. He could tell he was thinking of something, but it was Nate that was going to want to have to talk about it. Sully knew he couldn’t force Nate to talk.

                “You two have some serious atmosphere,” joked Elena as she stepped slowly forward. “Do you know if they have food on this train?”

                Nate chuckled. “Yeah,” he said light-heartedly. “Come-on,” he motioned as he stood up. “There’s a dining car down this way.” He patted Sully as he turned into the aisle. “Thanks. See you in a bit.”

                Sully nodded, reopening his book, and let the two go down to the snack car.

                Nate lead Elena down two more cars before arriving at a small dining area. There was an upper deck with some window seating, a drink section, and some deli food and snacks. He stood quietly, watching Elena look at all the options and debate what she wanted.

                “Anything for you, Sir?”

                Nate looked up and nodded. “Yeah, a lager and can I have one of those candy cars?”

                The lady behind the counter nodded and retrieved his items as Elena made her choices. Apparently, she was hungrier as she got a bowl of soup and a hot cocoa. They declined to go upstairs, but sat at a table and looked out the window.

                “So,” Elena said with a smirk as she blew on her soup. “What was so gloomy with Sully?”

                Nate shrugged and continued looking out the window. He was still thinking about it.

                “Oh, come-on,” Elena laughed lightly.

                Nate smirked. “Nothing,” he lied. “He’s just giving me a hard time…”

                Elena raised her eyebrow as she took a spoonful of her soup. “About what? Not sleeping?”

                Nate looked at her surprised. Did everyone know?

                “Nate,” she said softly, putting her hand on his on the table. “It’s okay to talk about it.”

                He nodded.

                “You’d want me to talk about it right?”

                He nodded again.

                She patted his hand and took another bite. “This soup is better than I thought it was going to be,” she admitted as she offered him a spoonful.

                Nate looked at her funny before accepting it and nodding in agreement. “It’s good, yeah?”

                Elena grinned and looked out the window. “There’s so much that I have to think about and get over. And there’s even more that I must adjust to, even if it’s in the interim.” She sipped her cocoa.

                Nate bit his lip as he watched her. She was so beautiful. Maybe it was the light. Maybe it was how long they’d been apart. But she was. Her golden hair was pulled up in her traditional style, and her eyes seemed soft. Her skin was pale, light scarring developing, but he felt his heart skip a few beats as he looked at her. And the sun was shining right through their small window and onto her face, brightening her brown eyes, making them glitter in the light. She still had some bandages on underneath, but she was healing outside better. He heard himself laugh in his head as he thought how her nickname from Chloe was right on… Sunshine. She radiated in it.

                “I’m nervous.” Elena turned to make eye contact with Nathan. “I’ve got to call my boss…”

                Nate grimaced. At least he didn’t have to do that.

                “It’s like Panama all over again. Even if I tell him the truth, I don’t think he’s going to believe me.”             

                Nate chuckled. “You will make something up.”

                “Oh no,” she pointed her finger at him. “You’re the one who's good at coming up with stories.”

                Nate shot her a friendly but sarcastic look, challenging her to continue. “Fine,” he snorted. “I’ll come up with a story for you.”

                Elena laughed. She sipped the last of her soup out of the bowl before looking up at Nate with a crooked smile. She looked around before leaning in as if telling him a secret. Nate leaned in, even though his wound ached when he did. “I’m not sleeping well either…” She whispered.

                Nate let out a breath.

                “But I do sleep better when you’re nearby…”

                That made him smile. He didn’t feel completely useless then. He watched as she stood up and limped her way back to her seat. He watched her, even tilting his head as she walked away. Nothing could have slapped that smirk off his face. Though he had other thoughts, mostly those that were going to have to wait to act upon, he knew both his friends were correct. He scratched his cheek as he drank his beer. “Well,” he said softly to his beer. “At least you’re not asking me how I’m sleeping…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised. Another chapter this week. This is coming along really slow... I mean the story is. Please bear with me. I do appreciate the feedback. And, thank you for reading! 
> 
> Hope everyone is enjoying the Holiday season!


	5. Finally Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive at a hotel at the end of the day. Nate and Elena are excited to finally be back together and looking forward to some time of their own. Unfortunately, it doesn't work out the way they'd like.

                The train stopped in some medium-sized town. The name truly escaped Elena’s mind. But this was the place they’d stay before catching a flight home. Elena was tired, exhausted, and so very sore. She was ready to collapse in bed, oh a real bed. They arrived at a decent hotel. It was nicer, closest to the train station. Nate and Sullivan took the bags and led her inside. She looked around, seeing the architecture. It wasn’t a surprise when Sully paid for the rooms, but it was a surprise when the hotel said there were only two rooms left.

                Sully looked at Nate, eyebrow raised, and a half skeptical look. “I’m guessing you two wanted to share a room?”

                Elena looked from the painting of Everest at Nate. In fact, they had planned on sharing a room. There was one thing they both were thinking about as they closed into the hotel’s property. If there was one thing they both remembered from before, it was survival sex. It was a memory that builds the anticipation of the two being alone again. So, of course, they had no problem sharing a room.

                “We have a basic room, here on the first floor left.” The lady said as she looked at her paper. “But we also have the Bridal Suite.”

                Sully chuckled. “Don’t ever say I never gave you anything,” he said as he looked at Nathan. “We’ll take them.”

                “Bridal suite, huh,” Elena snickered. “What a fitting room considering…”

                Nate looked at her as he put the key into the keyhole. “Considering what?”

                “We’re together again… for the first time…”

                Nate blinked.

                Elena laughed. “Never mind…”

                But as soon as the door shut, Nate grinned at her, and she smirked at his response. She wanted it. She truly did. So when Nate picked her up, her heart fluttered, and their lips met in a passionate war of dominance. She moaned as he held her, his hands on her thighs, and his breath on her neck. She felt herself grow wet in anticipation. She knew what she wanted. And sex with Nathan Drake was never a letdown. Unfortunately, as Nate dropped her on the bed, a little too roughly, Elena gasped out in pain.

                “Ow, ow, ow,” she whined as she held her side.

                Nate stopped and looked at her with deep concern. “I’m sorry,” she instantly regretted. “Are you okay?”

                Elena nodded, frowning as she looked at her self. “Don’t stop,” she encouraged. She reached up, even though that was a decent about of discomfort, and grabbed at his shirt, pulling him on top of her. “I’ll be fine,” she lied in her breath upon his lips. She felt Nate’s hesitance, but he kissed her again. He pressed her, more gently this time, on the bed as his hands landed on the sides of her head. She felt him press himself, hard and excited, against her own pelvis. It drove her even more mad. She grasped at his shirt, grabbing it desperately in her fists, and moaned in pleasure.

                “We have too much clothing on,” Nate growled at her, showing his own excitement.

                Elena grinned. She tried to pull her own shirt off, but ended up whining in pain. As she squeezed her eyes shut and stopped in the tracks, she felt Nate’s hands softly on her sides. There was still some gauze pads on her body, and it felt odd as his hands glided up her sides over them. It was almost too distracting. Nate gently, ever so softly, took her shirt and helped it off her, tracing kisses behind the shirt as it came off. Her head instantly fell back in pleasure and she gasped.

                Nate smirked as he kissed at her neck and removed his own shirt. In a short few moments, mostly dues to Nate’s tender touches and assistance, Nate balanced his naked body over the bare Elena. For that moment, it felt right, again. He had missed her. He could never admit it while they were apart, but not that they were together, raw and alone, he could tell her how he missed her.

                She melted under his touch, moaned in their kisses, and craved the intimacy that hovered over her. Her hands ran up his chest, her fingers lightly floating down his back, and settling on his sides. Nate’s own hands were careful as they made their own journey to her groin. He groaned loudly with the discovery of her being so moist. Elena gasped loudly as his fingers slipped into her. She couldn’t help it. Her eyes looked down at his head as he kissed her chest, making sure to take up both her nipples in his mouth. This hurt, however, and more “ow, ow, ow,” escaped sharply.

                Nate was quick to stop as he sat up. She could see, again, the great concern for her. He wanted this to be perfect. Nate was holding back his feeling, his wants, desires, and dreams. And he hoped in his own mind that if he regained that intimacy with Elena, that his own soul would calm, and his terrifying nightmares might cease. He wanted to make sure she was in his arms, and no longer in any harm’s way. This also meant that he never wanted to cause her any more pain than that he felt responsible for.

                “Never mind,” Elena quickly waived off as she reached for him. She felt restrained by her own body. She pulled Nate back on top of her, her hands on his hips, as she encouraged him with moans and groans, to enter her. She sees him second-guess himself, but it’s hard not to comply. It wasn’t until he thrusted into her that they both cried out. His side erupted in pain, as he was still healing himself. And the movement against her sparked every wound of hers to flash in deep pain outward. Her hip, side, and chest pulsed in a radiating pain. They parted quickly. Elena held herself. She cried out, feeling robbed of a pleasure she desired so deeply. This broken body could not even allow herself a moment of pleasure. Nate growled and punched the pillow next to him.

                “I’m sorry,” she cried.

                Nate shook his head. His erection was gone as soon as the pain started. He too felt robbed, but he also felt useless to an extent. “It’s okay,” he tried to comfort her in return. “It’s okay.” Inside he felt like exploding though. It wasn’t okay.

                Elena laid back as Nate got up and went to give her some medicine to ease her now inflamed pain. She did have plans to visit a doctor as soon as she was stateside, but until then, she was to drink that strong tea and it’d help her pain as much as it could. What he did have was some ibuprofen and he grabbed the two pills that he had to give her. He’d go without for the moment. As he got some water and turned around, he noticed the jacuzzi in the corner of the room. They’d mostly overlooked it at the time of arrival into the room. It was a large room, and the jacuzzi seemed to be easily overlooked.

                “I have an idea,” he said as he handed her two pills. “Take these.” Then Elena watched as he began to fill the tub. She watched as he was careful on the temperature as he filled it. Then he turned back to her. “Join me?” He was a sight to behold, for sure, and Elena had to stop and take it in. But as her eyes drifted, they landed on a red spot, a large round scar, on his side above his hip.

                Nate looked down and saw his own scar. They both had survived, and it felt as if now they were coming to terms with their own bodies. Elena was. She had been waking up. She wasn’t going to let some scars get her down, and she wasn’t going to let her current condition get in her own way either. But seeing Nate scar…

                Nate must have noticed the sober of the room because he put his hand over the red spot and walked up to her. “It’s okay,” he whispered to her.

                Elena looked down at her own body.

                “Hey,” Nate reached out to her. “We’re okay… It’s like when you get a scar from falling off a bike.”

                Elena snorted as she tilted her head in speculation. “Are you saying that I’ll just get used to getting blown up?”

                Nate sighed. “No,” he smiled softly.

                “Or getting used to getting shot at like you.”

                Nate grumped and looked disappointed. “I don’t like getting shot at,” he reassured. “And I don’t plan on getting shot again. It hurt.”

                “Getting blown up hurt too,” Elena confirmed.

                “I mean,” Nate put his hand on hers as she sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s just a scar. It’s… It’s… a part of your story.”

                Elena sighed. That had to be the most right thing that Nathan ever said. She smiled and got up from the bed. Maybe a bath would help her feel better. They sat carefully in the tub after removing her bandages. The warm water was not only soothing, but being with him in the tub was comforting. They sat across from each other, leaning back, letting the hot water warm them. The jets were turned on low, and they sat, completely satisfied in their positions. Elena could feel the tension in her sore muscles, her rebuilding muscles, loosen and dissipate. But she was not done trying to have that intimate feeling with Nate yet, and after a few minutes, she ran her foot up the inside of Nate’s leg.

                Nate had sat back, leaned his head back, and had closed his eyes. He actually enjoyed baths after some adventures. He was dirty, and sore himself. Though he did feel guilty about not being able to please and enjoy Elena, he figured they’d try maybe tomorrow morning. It bothered him more that even though he was healing faster, he was still limited by his own body. He had to remind himself that he was also healing and that he couldn’t afford to hurt himself. Then he felt Elena’s foot slide up his leg. He simply opened an eye with his boyish smirk. With the water making them lighter, maybe sex in the tub wouldn’t be so bad.

                Elena raised her eyebrows, hitting at her seductive motives. She slid over to him, her hands starting from his knees and working slowly inward. Nate reached out, feeling her sides with the tips of his fingers. To Elena, it felt amazing. Maybe it was just this experience, but he always knew how to touch her. She slid her body on top of Nate’s lap, looking deeply into his blue eyes. She rubbed herself against him, feeling the desired result almost instantly. Her hands reached back, finding his hair, and running her fingers up the back of his neck to his scalp. “Oh,” he moaned out.

She felt his hands grab at her hips as he groaned. It made her want him even more desperately. But as she lowered herself onto him, earning a full gasp and moan from him, she felt her own body object to the actions again. _No_ , she argued with herself _, it will get better_ … She pivoted her hips, feeling a sharp pain shoot through her side up to her breast. “Ah!” She cried out. “Fuck!”

Nate growled, holding her hips still before tapping at her, “You gotta get off,” he whined.

                They both just collapsed back into the water, feeling defeated. “It’s not fair,” she whined.

                Nate didn’t think so either. “I know,” he sympathized. “We can try again later, okay?”

                Elena knew he was right… it’s just not what she wanted. But when Nate waved her back over, he held her in his lap as the water bubbled around them. That was better. It felt better. It was supposed to relax them, comfort them, and cleanse their troubles from their minds. By, God, Elena wasn’t going to waste it.

                The next morning, waking in his arms, was a perfect way to start the day. Unfortunately, they woke entirely too late. It wasn’t even too long before Sully was at their door, banging on it to get them going. And though they still had a long way to go, Elena knew she had a laundry list of things to do before getting back to a “normal” life.

                Elena’s first actions were to call her Editor in Chief. She had a story to tell. Jeff was dead, and they needed to know. Her lack of contact actually had her boss’s concern and she was surprised to hear his concern to get her home. She couldn’t explain Shambala but instead said that her efforts found her and Jeff in the middle of a war, and in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was lucky to escape, and thankful to a "stranger" who saved her. She told him how she survived the grenade and was dragged out of the war zone. She could tell his concern for her. He told her that they’d do the best by her and to go to the hospital as soon as she was stateside. They wanted to ensure her health. Elena could honestly say she was surprised, but already had plans to visit a doctor when she got home.

                “I will still try to work,” she reassured her boss.

                “Elena,” her editor argued. “Rest. When you can, come in. But please don’t work yourself too hard.”

                Elena frowned. Had Nate talked to her boss? It didn’t matter, some time to heal would be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took long enough to happen, but here it is!   
> I don't think, as I like to think a bit more logically and realistically, that they'd be able to do anything sexually for a while. Wounds like these heal from the outside in, and any movement can cause rebound pain. That's pain that is caused from a motion or a vibration from another part of the body. Don't worry though, they will get their time together. There's still a lot of healing to do in the mean time. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive at Elena's apartment, but is she happy to be there?

                The airport wasn’t as busy as they thought it was going to be. Sullivan came back with their tickets, made sure they were okay and told Nate to call him. Then they were on their way home. Honestly, it was a bit surreal feeling for Elena. Not only did she feel she was battling an emotional warhead in her mind, but now she was going to be taking on culture shock. Coming from such a war scene and such violence, normality for her was going to be a journey on its own. She felt like she was on a different planet just sitting in the cab on the way from the airport to her apartment, but she also felt an overwhelming sense of relief and relaxation. She was after all, home, where she was most comfortable. She didn’t feel comfortable. She was on edge, feeling as if there was something she was missing.

                She looked over at Nate who sat next to her. He was looking out the window before turning to look at her. “I don’t like it here,” he muttered. “Too many people.”

                “Considering the people, you hang out with, I can understand why you don’t like people.” She giggled at her own comment and looked back out the window.

                “I had one friend, one, that tried to kill us, and now you are going to accuse all my friends of being murderers?” He snorted, though he knew it was all in good fun. In fact, the humor was good for them. What was happening was rather… fast. Memories of their last engagements, and of the last few nights, battled in their heads.

                She continued to snicker. The feeling of security was coming back to her, slowly. This was her safehouse. She was home. And as hard as it was going to be recovering for shell shock, literally, she’d rather be recovering in a place of familiarity than in some mountain village. She watched as they turned down into her neighborhood and she smiled. She’d lived here for a long time, but she felt like she was never home. She always wanted to be other places. And it wasn’t that her apartment wasn’t a place that she enjoyed, it wasn’t a place she felt like she was supposed to reside for long periods of time. After another glance at Nate and she wondered if he ever spent enough time at home to make rent worth it. She knew he had his own apartment. But he barely even ever spoke of it. She could tell he was on edge, and that was fair. The last time he had spent any time at her apartment was their break up. Of course, he wouldn’t feel naturally comfortable.  

                She wasn’t sure what to once she was home. She just stood by the front door and stared at her apartment. It’d been quite some time since she’d been there. But it was her last memories in the apartment were of her and Jeff, not her and Nate. So, as she stared at her empty and dusty apartment, she felt a sense of loneliness. Nate kicked his shoes off, a habit he remembered she insisted on and waited for her to go ahead of him. She could feel his stare, waiting, curious to her hesitation. He looked around, then back at her. “Are you okay? What is it?”

                Elena looked up at him with tears forming. “This is my life isn’t it?” She felt a certain dread, a fear that shew as just going to go and fail at her special and insisted projects, to return to the same simple apartment in the city. She wasn’t destined for grand adventures like Nate, nor was she destined to ever find peace other than here. She wasn’t going to go anywhere, but that apartment in the end. The pressure swelled in her chest at the thought.

                Nate frowned his brows and tilted his head in understanding what she was saying. “What do you mean?”

                “I’m not fit to be a good foreign correspondent…” How was she? She was an amazing TV show host but completely fucked that up by buying Nate’s story. Though that experience was not completely regretted, she didn’t feel like she could be good at anything else. If she was a good foreign correspondent, she wouldn’t have gotten Jeff killed. She would have found Lazarevic and reported it without getting caught. She wouldn’t be home, at this apartment, but in the field reporting world events.

                Nate wasn’t sure how to respond so he bit his lip and looked sadly at her.

                “Maybe everything that I’ve worked for is not what I’m supposed to be.” She sniffed as a tear fell down her cheek. “I keep trying to find excuses to be better than this apartment, but I keep finding myself here.”

                Nate looked around. “At least you’re not jobless this time…” He snickered trying to lighten the mood but didn’t see a snicker from Elena. “I thought you loved this apartment?”

                Elena wiped the tear from her cheek and shrugged. “I do… But this isn’t the apartment I’ve dreamed of…” She had ambitions, dreams of success.

                Nate nodded and took the first steps into the apartment. “Well, I can go to the store and get some food if you make me a list…”

                Elena reached out to stop him, “I’ll go with you.”

                “Elena…”

                “Let’s go tomorrow morning. I promise to rest today and tomorrow morning we can go get some groceries.” She smiled weakly and Nate nodded. Suddenly, Elena started crying in full. Her shoulders fell, her face dropped, and she let out a sob.

                Nate was quick to gather her up in a hug and held her. He hushed her softly as she just let the tears out, getting soaked up in his Henley. She muttered and sobbed things into his chest, but he held her tighter, kissing her temple in an effort to comfort her. She could feel his hands around her, rubbing her back and shoulders. She could smell him. He hadn’t showered in two days with their travels, but she felt his smell was a comfort. Her hands found the back of his shirt as she hugged him in return. Her fists tightened about his shirt as she let out a few harder sobs, sniffling in-between.

                She didn’t know how long they stood, there, but she tired quickly and pulled away from Nate and tried to wipe her face with her sleeve. “I can’t stop thinking about how he won’t come home,” she coughed out.

                Nate nodded. “It’s okay,” he tried to reassure, but Elena shook her head. She patted his chest and tried to smile up at him. Then she moved past him and into her bedroom. Everything had a good layer of dust on it, including her made bed. This didn’t stop her. She simply slipped into the bed and continued to cry. She had held back mostly while she was with Nate, but now that she was in a more safe environment, her emotions flooded the dams that held them at bay. And she didn’t feel it was fair to Nathan to talk to him about Jeff. She didn’t want him to get jealous and start a fight. So, she felt it was better to grieve on her own. As she cuddled against her pillow, she felt the bed sink behind her and a hand land on her hip. He didn’t say anything. He simply laid down behind her, pulling her towards him. Slowly his arms made their way around her. She took a deep breath and sighed as she tried to relax. But she didn’t even know that she was already asleep.

                Nate held her, holding her closely, like he would a teddy bear to comfort his own fears. From this point back, he had held her to comfort himself. Elena was still trying to feel independent and strong, though he knew how broken her body was, after all, he helped put it back together. His own fears of losing her could be calmed if he knew, could feel, touch, smell, and see her. He hoped that now he could wrap his limbs around her, he too could sleep, with the idea that at least half his demons being calmed. He couldn’t cry though. He had to stay strong. And he didn’t have the loss that she carried.

                They woke hours later, the sun setting. Well, Nathan woke, but Elena kept sleeping. He felt hungry. He looked down at the snoozing blonde hair in his arms and then glanced at the door. He was sure she was going to be hungry soon too. He debated for a minute or two before deciding that he’d go out and get something to eat. He’d bring some take out back for her. He just hoped that he could get back before she woke up. He gently rolled Elena, doing his best to not wake her. As he walked out of the bedroom, he walked to her side, kissing her forehead, and letting his hand sit on her side a bit longer. Then he put on his shoes and went over places to bring food from in his head which were nearby.

                When Elena woke, it was darker outside. She was alone and she looked around almost confused. Wasn’t Nate nearby? She sat up, whining in pain, and looked around. “Nate?” She limped out, holding her hip and she groaned at the pain and peered mysteriously into the living room and kitchen area. No one. She checked the counters for a note, but there wasn’t one. This left her unsatisfied. She was sure Nathan just wouldn’t just leave her. _He’s probably out getting food_ , she told herself. _Where would he go if he wasn’t?_ Even with her reasonings, she began to worry. She looked out the windows hoping to see him, but she couldn’t. She bit her lip, unknowing what to do next. She sat down on a bar stool and looked at the door. _This isn’t like you, Elena,_ she thought to herself. _You’re not going to die if he doesn’t return. You can live on your own_. This thought was a firm determination, but it scared her at the moment.

                As she brought her mind back to order, the door opened with Nathan holding a pizza box. Elena grinned, jumping up to attempt to tackle him in happiness. Nate moved the pizza box so she didn’t hit it, and “umphed” as she half crashed into him. He wrapped his free arm around her with a chuckle. “This is a good greeting,” he laughed. “Are you okay?”

                Elena nodded as she stood up and reached for the box. “I’m great. I was hoping for pizza,” she smiled, trying to hide her own doubts.

                Nate grinned and slipped off his shoes. He watched as she opened it up and grabbed a piece. He grabbed his own slice, but also the box and headed for her bedroom.

                “Hey!” She called as he slunk away. “Come back.”

                Nate laughed, “No way!”

                They found themselves where they could have been years ago. They cuddled next to each other, watching TV, with a pizza to share in their laps. And in a way, it helped Elena. She wasn’t in a cold, wet, ruined city. She was in her bed, safe and sound, laughing and eating pizza. It was almost as if she was dreaming a good dream for once. It was somewhere she could recover and feel at home. It was that moment, that she felt peace and fulfillment. And Nathan could agree with that wholeheartedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This book is proving to be harder than I expected. There's just too many filler chapters. I'm actually about 6 chapters ahead in my writing and I'm stuck now. I wrote such a satisfying chapter, and I know where I want to go with this.... but .... Now I have to get there with more boring filler chapters. I hope you are all bearing with me. I hope that you are all enjoying it! 
> 
> Happy Winter Solstice! It's all downhill from here and more sunshine is on it's way.


	7. In 5 years talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena asks Nate where he wants to be five years...

                The room was dark, and as he called out for help, he couldn’t see or hear anyone nearby. His side burned and he held his hand tight to it as he groaned. “Sully!” He called, “Sully, help!” Quiet followed. He looked down at his hand, seeing red and groaned again as it pulsed with fiery heat. “Fuck,” he groaned. Nate pulled himself up and tried to walk into the darkness. “Chloe? Elena?” He looked around into the darkness hoping to see anything, but sees nothing. He fell to his knees, feeling the blood dripping down him, and feeling weak. He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them to find himself in a house. He looked around, quickly confused. There was a soft sounding music playing, some delicious smell wafting from the other room, and it was light and clean. He looked at his hand to see it clean, and he felt no pain. He looked around again before getting up and peaking around into the kitchen where something was cooking. There stood Elena pouring some wine. “Elena?”

                “There you are,” she smiled brightly. “I was wondering if you were going to come help me with dinner.”

                Nate reached out to take a glass of wine from her and smiled back. “Where else would I be?”

                Elena kissed his cheek and replied, “I’m not sure, but not with me.”

                Nate frowned and tilted his head.

                But before Nate could continue his dream, he was stirred awake. The room was still dark, but Elena was crawling out of bed. He quickly sat up on his arms. “Elena? Are you okay?”

                Elena nodded. “Just going to the bathroom.”

                Nate nodded as he watched her carefully. He laid back down and stared at the ceiling. The dream was more interesting than his usual terrifying dreams of never reaching Elena in time. He was now debating his dreams were trying to tell him something. He wasn’t normally into dream analysis, but this one was more than just his fears playing in his sleep. He put his hands behind his head and squinted his eyes in thought. It was what Elena said to him before he woke up, “…not with me…” He mouthed it as it was a fresh and vivid memory.

                Elena climbed back into bed, instantly finding her spot next to him, and pulling the covers up to her chin. Her hand gently rested on the center of his chest. “You look deep in thought,” she yawned.

                Nate instantly shrugged it off. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. “Just a dream.”

                “Are you still having those nightmares?” She put her head on her shoulder and snuggled into it.

                Nate kissed the top of her head as he also settled back into his pillow. “This one was different,” he whispered. “It was just weird.”

                Elena nodded. Nate knew she was going back to sleep rather quickly, but he didn’t know if he would. He just kept staring at the ceiling. “I was dying,” he continued to explain. “And I was all alone. But then I woke up and you were there. We were in some house. And you said you were surprised that I was there. You expected me to be elsewhere.”

                Elena hummed as a response.

                Nate sighed. She needed her sleep. He should be fine with her sleeping. He yawned and decided to give it a try. He could smell her, feel her warmth, and hear her breathing. Maybe he’d be lucky and not dream at all…

                And he didn’t. He just woke up. It felt like he’d only closed his eyes for a second or two. But instead of street lights shining through their window, it was the morning rays of the sun. It was the movement from his chest that woke him. Both of them had slept so hard for the next three hours, so content with each other, that neither had moved. So, as Elena woke and sat up, he woke too. He rubbed his eyes and sat up with a large yawn.

                “Good Morning,” he smiled.

                Elena stretched and smiled back. “Good Morning.” It felt good to her to stretch. Her achy muscles needed waking.

                He watched as she limped to the bathroom and he heard the shower turn on. She was going to try to go to work, at least for a couple hours. Nate protested it, and he was sure her boss did too, but she hated being so stuck up in her apartment. Nate wasn’t sure how he was feeling. He knew he was feeling stuck, maybe trapped, but he didn’t want to just get up and leave. He didn’t even know where he’d go. Maybe he’d talk to Sully, see what he was up to. _Doesn’t that figure_ , he thought to himself. _I’ve only been here over a week and I’m already getting cabin fever_. He didn’t want to head back into the field, getting shot at again. His side hurt with just him thinking about it and his hand reflexively covered it. The flash of his hand covered in his blood flashed to mind and he frowned.

                “I have a doctor’s appointment at 2:30,” Elena called from the bathroom. She was already out of the shower. Nate had completely zoned out. “What are you going to do while I’m gone?”

                She must have been reading his mind. He looked up and sighed as he realized he didn’t have an answer.

                The silence must have nerved her because she poked her head out of the bathroom. “Not burn down my apartment?”

                “You’re cute,” Nate replied with a sarcastic undertone. “Well,” he sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. “I’m wondering how you’ll do at work.”

                Nathan couldn’t see, but Elena was especially struggling to get ready. The deepest wound was on her shoulder and it heavily restricted her movements. Her pain was not going away, she felt she was just getting used to it. She was hopeful that the doctor was going to be able to help her. As Elena moved into the bedroom to get dressed, Nate came back from the kitchen area. She was sure he had just gone to take some ibuprofen. He had resisted going to the doctor clearly declaring that he’s never needed a doctor before, why start now? But Elena knew it was because he was broke. Her job was paying for the doctor because it was considered “workman’s comp” since it happened while she was on the job. Well… she’d told them it was on the job.

                “What is your goal here?”

                Nate stopped putting his socks on and looked up at his girlfriend in curiosity. What was that supposed to mean?

                Elena chuckled at his response. “I mean, what are your plans going forward?”

                “Is this a trick question?” Nate stood up with a smirk and walked over to her, placing his hands on her hips.

                Elena smirked back shook her head. He knew she liked this type of attention. “Is it too early to talk about where we want to be in five years?”

                Nate looked out the corner of his eyes as he looked like he was thinking. “I haven’t planned that far ahead.”

                Elena rolled her eyes. “It’s not complicated,” she sighed and pulled from him to get some breakfast. “Just off the top of your head… what do you want to be doing in five years’ time?”

                Nate followed her to the kitchen area and sat on a bar stool. “Right off the top of my head?” he hummed and scratched his face. “I know I don’t want to be getting shot at.”

                Elena tossed her head to one side and the other. “I figured that,” she chuckled. “Do you want to be here? Do you want to be working at McDonald's?”

                Nate instantly scoffed. “I don’t know,” he responded sharply. “I have no idea.”

                He regretted that attitude because Elena’s tone changed too. “I’m just wondering, Nate. I’m not trying to start a fight.”

                “Why do you want to know,” he asked roughly as he tossed his hands in the air. “What does that accomplish?”

                Elena took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and set her coffee on the counter. She let the breath out loudly and opened to eyes. Nate just looked at her skeptically. “I know where I want to be in five years.”

                Nate knew she was trying not to yell at him. He rubbed his face and looked up at her, raising his hand towards her. “Okay. Then where do you want to be five years from now?”

                She could hear the attitude as much as he was trying to hide it. She didn’t even think he cared. He was just trying to not fight with her. “I’d like to think that I’d go back into the field.”

                Nate raised his hand to interrupt her. “Whoa, you mean go back into war zones?”

                Elena shrugged and nodded as she sipped her coffee.

                Nate blinked in amazement.

                “I’m not going to let this hold me back,” Elena said firmly as she pointed to the wounds on her body. “I’m a damn good journalist and news correspondent. I’m not going to throw that away because of an assassination attempt.”

                “So, then, you’re saying that I should go back the thieving and destroying ruins,” Nate squinted. The sarcasm had not stopped or slowed down and it was driving Elena nuts. She just wanted to have a conversation with him.

                “Nate,” she waved him off. “I just wanted to know what you want to do!”

                “I don’t know!” Nate yelled as he stood up. “I’ve never made plans! I’ve just gone with the flow of things! I’ve never had to sit and write out my life plan! It’s never worked that way anyway!”

                “Don’t yell at me, Nathan! I’m just trying to talk with you!”

                Nate glared as a response.

                “What’s the purpose to all that you do?”

                He still didn’t respond.

                “Do you want to be famous for finding some ancient lost Atlantis?”

                Nate looked away, still sour. It felt like an interrogation to him.

                Elena scratched the bridge of her nose. “Do you want to just steal all the treasure, and become rich enough to own your own island and never see another soul again?”

                Nate gave her a glare, but that was mostly true at this point.

                “Look,” Elena said as she tried to calm herself down. “Do you see yourself with me in another five years? Are you still working at a treasure hunter? Are you working as a salesman? Whatever it is, Nate, I know that you can’t sit here for the rest of your life and do nothing. I know you.” She pointed at him and gave him a crooked smile. “You are not a guy who can sit still for long.”

                Nate sighed as he accepted her truth and watched as she grabbed a light jacket and started putting shoes on. “In five years,” he said softly, “I don’t want to be getting shot at. I don’t want to be struggling, living like I don’t know what’s around the corner.” He scratched his head as she turned to face him. “I just… I’ve never known anything else but that.”

                Elena grabbed her bag, tenderly putting it on her shoulder. “If you want things to change, you need to change them. Maybe you should go find something to do today. Go apply for some jobs that are less threatening…”

                Nate scrunched his nose.

                “Nate,” she sighed. “The normal life is working and living in a little apartment… not getting shot at and sleeping in the bush.”

                Nate chuckled. “Okay… I’ll look around, okay?”

                Elena smiled. “I’ll see you later today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really believe that Nathan would be really uncomfortable with the question of where he wants to be in five years. What do you think? Yes, he does eventually go get a job, in later chapters, but Elena does not have the doctor's appointment that she'd like next week! 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Have a great New year!


	8. The Doctor Appoitment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena visits the doctor's office about her pain not going away, but not before reflecting on her thoughts and feelings.

                Elena was not having a good day like she planned. Work was tiring, and she could barely concentrate. At one point, her shoulder felt like someone was stabbing her with a needle, wiggling it around for pure pleasure to see her cry. And where normally she’d be anxious about a doctor’s appointment, she was excited to talk to someone about her pain to see if it could be remedied. It had been weeks, and if Nate believed it or not, Elena was impatient. Getting a taste of work probably didn’t help, she felt that she was halfway to where she wanted to be, but not half as fast as she wanted to be.

                “You don’t look well…”

                Elena turned in her seat, flinching internally at the pain in her side. “I’m fine.” It was a lie. Maybe he wouldn’t see through her.

                “You’re pale.” Her supervisor insisted. “We all can hear you sighing, and hissing in pain.” He leaned against the wall by her desk. “You’re a damn good journalist, and we’re all wanting to see you back in the field, but these wounds can backfire if you don’t take care of yourself.” His tone was of concern and he sounded genuine. And Elena knew he was right.

                Elena growled at herself, the stopped suddenly and looked widely at her supervisor. “Back in the field? Are you saying that I may go back across seas?”

                He shrugged. “Not if you don’t heal properly. You have to take care of yourself.”

                Elena slouched in her seat and sighed.

                “Go home. I’ll email you a couple things to think about while you are healing.”

                Elena nodded in defeat. It wasn’t what she wanted, but, again, she knew he was right. Well, she did three hours of work, she could call that success. She was only scheduled for five… so that’s over half way… On her way to the doctor’s office, she stopped at the beach. She had time to spare, and some alone time with her feet in the sand, the sea breeze in her hair and the roaring waves would be a comfort that she needed.

The sun felt comforting, like a heated blanket around her. She limped, the pain in her hip hurting more than usual, to the sand where she sat down and took a deep breath. She could taste the salty air, the ocean. There were a few people walking closer to the ocean, and she watched them idly. She wanted her mind to be free, clear of all disruptions.  All she could hear was berates of her self-esteem. Her own mind was out to destroy itself. Elena had fought depression before, but not like this. She was feeling completely unworthy.

                She looked down at her hands as she allowed her mind to conclude her thoughts. She was broken. She felt broken. Her body was never going to be what it used to be. She remembered playing sports with friends, hiking to get beautiful photos in the mountains, and making bold moves to get the perfect shot, but now she wondered if she’d ever recover from this limp. Elena’s hand drifted to her aching shoulder and winced. Her scars would even remind her every day of her lack of luck. With another look into the sea, she frowned. It was her head that was eating at her the most, and that was what was difficult. Her body would heal, she had to remember that, but her mind was convincing her that she’d never be the same.  

                Elena pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned against them. It was uncomfortable, but comfortable enough with her on the sand. She knew she had to realize that she was okay, and it was going to be okay. _I guess time does heal all wounds_ , she joked to herself. _At least I have Nathan_. She wiggled her toes in her shoes and looked down at them. For being in such an incident, she was lucky to be alive at all. So why did her brain want to convince her she would have been better off dead? Her job was nice enough to give her workman’s comp, give her time off, and be completely open with her. Nate gave up his adventures to stay with her. He could have easily said, “see ya” and ran off with Sullivan. And he loved her. She knew he did. But, she didn’t feel as beautiful some mornings, and she couldn’t do most of the things she liked, like volleyball, surfing, or running. She couldn’t even be intimate with Nate.

                Sex. She blushed as she looked back out at the waves. Now there was a guy playing fetch with his dog, some black lab looking dog. She wanted it so badly. Their relationship had moved in such ways, and Nate was more mature than she remembered. His tender touches, kind words, and attention to detail warmed her. She wanted to have sex with him to just say thank you, to express her own love for him. She felt that the love they had now, even without the sex was more meaningful than it was after Panama where, she could admit, the relationship was driven by adrenaline. She wanted to express that to him, and she was sure he wanted to express his deeper love to her. But they couldn’t. She hoped that the doctor would be able to help her feel better.

                She was late to the doctor’s appointment, another thing that was completely unlike her. _Maybe,_ she thought as she sat down in the waiting room, _today is not my day. Everyone has an off day, this one is mine._ She’d seen the doctor once before. She was incredibly astonished at Elena’s current condition. She didn’t even take x-rays. She told her to keep up the good work, and to keep stretching. That was simple since Elena was trying to do yoga every morning. It was beginning to piss her off that Nate did not do yoga and he was healing faster than she was.

                “Ms. Elena Fisher?”

                Elena looked up from her thoughts and followed the nurse into the examination room. She stripped and put the gown on. She wasn’t embarrassed about her scars in front of the doctor, weirdly enough, just more with Nathan. And that was weird in her own thoughts because he was there with her the whole time. She should be the most comfortable with him if anyone else. Maybe it was because she cared about him, about his thoughts, and about his feelings towards her and in that sense it brought out her insecurities. She had to laugh a little considering that she hadn’t been that insecure since middle school. She’d grown confident as she grew into womanhood. She knew what she wanted, and she was ambitious and strong-willed. She wasn’t afraid of opinions or of judgments. Where had that young woman she loved so much and she worked so hard to be, go?

                “Ms. Fisher?”

                Elena, again, woke from her thoughts and looked up to see her doctor walking into the room. “How are you doing today?”

                Honestly, she did want to lie. She wanted to tell her doctor that she was doing great, better than ever, but then why was she there? “Well,” Elena sighed. “I seem to have leveled in my progress.”

                The doctor looked at her papers and sat down. “What’s going on?”

                “I’m still in some pain. I mean, it’s not getting any better. I have done my best to stretch and keep the scabs clean, but it was even a chore to do my hair.”

                The doctor nodded. She listened to her heart and breaths. “Where is it still hurting?”

                Elena pointed to the wound above her breast, on her shoulder, and to her hip. “Everywhere else is still doing well. I’m walking, well… limping… but these hurt the most.”

                The doctor nodded. “Are you sure all the shrapnel was taken out?”

                Elena shook her head slowly. She wasn’t. She didn’t think any was taken out, Tenzin and Nate wouldn’t have had the tools nor the experience for that.

“Little bits of shrapnel left can do more damage if they are left in there, and add quite a bit of pain. That shrapnel is moving around with your movements. So, it’s just grinding away at whatever is left, or whatever is healing”

Elena bit her lip as she thought about that.

Let’s get some x-rays done. Let’s see what’s left inside you and what we can do about it.”

                Of course, there was still bits of metal still in Elena. And the doctor smiled gently, telling her that many people live the rest of their life with shrapnel still in them. But if it’s only causing more damage, there was no reason to not get it out of her. “It’d be a longer surgery, maybe four or five hours to get these pieces out,” the doctor explained. Then she pointed to the one on her hip. “This does need to come out. This is going to cause some major problems later.”

                “This will set my healing time back,” Elena sighed. “I’m trying to get better faster.”

                The doctor nodded, “yes, but you will heal faster without these foreign objects in you.” She turned to Elena, suddenly serious. “Some of these wounds are pretty bad…” Her voice trailed. “Are you going to be trying for a pregnancy soon?”

                Elena shook her head.

                “Did you ever want children?”

                That was something that was not on Elena’s mind, nor had she given it much thought. But she’d imagine that one day she’d want children… Not this year, or maybe next, but someday. “I suppose so,” she admitted softly. “I don’t want to not have children…”

                The doctor sighed heavily and frowned. It was a sad look, and Elena knew what she was going to say. “These wounds could make a pregnancy difficult. I’m not saying that you can’t have children, but when you decide to, I’d defiantly talk with your OB-GYN and find out what kind of condition your uterus is in. Just looking here, I’d almost suggest that we go ahead and have an ultra-sound done. We can have that procedure done today.”

                Elena looked down at her fidgeting hands.

                “I’d like to also see if there’s any fluid around any other organs,” the doctor continued. She reached out, putting a hand on Elena’s stopping the fidgeting. “You were healing so well,” she began. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to have this much going wrong so soon. I mean, you must not have been that close to the grenade as there is not that much wrong, nor that much shrapnel. But the explosion can cause bruising and internal bleeding just from the shockwave. This generally happens right after the explosion. This did happen weeks ago?”

                Elena nodded.

                “But if you are still bleeding, or if there is still some fluid around your organs, we need to find out why.”

                Elena sighed heavily.

                “The ultra-sound will show us what’s going on. You are doing so well,” she smiled softly at Elena, who did not look back at her doctor or return her gaze. “This will help you heal faster and get you back to your normal self.”

                Elena nodded but it didn’t help her to think any better of herself.

                “Are you okay, Ms. Fisher?”

                Elena finally looked up and met the eye contact with her doctor. She could see the concern and the sympathy for her. “It’s just more things that I cannot do.”

                The doctor squeezed Elena’s hand to show her support. “Ms. Fisher. You can do whatever you’d like as long as it doesn’t hurt. If it hurts, stop.” The doctor looked at her papers again. “How has your mood been?”

                Elena flinched internally. That’s exactly what she wanted to talk about, her feelings and her depression. “It’s a struggle some days.”

                The doctor nodded. “That’s very understandable. Any suicidal thoughts?”

                Elena frowned and shook her head slowly. She wasn’t feeling to thinking suicidal, yet… Not really. Just depressing and degrading thoughts. “Not really. I wish that this never happened, or maybe that it should have just killed me…”

                The doctor nodded and wrote a few things down. “We don’t need you feeling negative. You are very lucky. I do want you to know that we can prescribe you an anti-depressant if you’d like. But I don’t want you to let yourself get that low. We are here for you.”

                Elena nodded slowly, feeling awkward.

                “Do you have someone at home? Someone who you care about and who cares for you?”

                After a second, Elena nodded. “Yeah, I have my boyfriend.”

                The doctor wrote some more on her papers and nodded. “Consider the anti-depressant.”

                Elena nodded again.

 The doctor stood up and motioned towards the door. “Let’s go get some ultrasounds done, and get the surgery scheduled, and let’s get you feeling better.”

                Elena stood, took a deep breath, and followed her doctor down the hall.

                As she arrived home, she found Nate folding laundry.

                “You did laundry?” Elena did have to admit, she was a little surprised.

                Nate grinned. “Yeah,” he snickered.

                She limped sorely into the kitchen.

                “How are you feeling today?”

                “Well,” Elena started as she began to get things for dinner. “Apparently, walking and moving so much makes it more painful.”

                Nate walked over, leaning against the counter, looking concerned at Elena. “How was the doctor? Did they give you something to help?”

                Elena nodded and looked down. She looked at the chicken in the sink and chewed on her lip before turning to Nathan. “Did you and Tenzin get out any shrapnel?”

                Nate tilted his head. This was a question he wasn’t prepared for. “Well… We did get some out. But we just didn’t have the resources or the ability.” She could tell he felt bad about it.

                Elena just nodded. “I had some x-rays done,” she said softly as she rinsed the chicken breasts and put them on the cutting board. “My pain is from the shrapnel ripping my muscles and wounds.”

                “Are they going to get them out,” Nate was quick to ask.

                Elena nodded. “The day after tomorrow.”

                Nate nodded and put his hand out on her back. His touch was soft, almost as if he was trying to comfort her, but was unsure how she wanted to be comforted. “I’ll take you. No worries.”

                Elena nodded.

                “We did try,” Nate continued to apologize.

                But Elena shook her head and gave Nate a weak smile. “It’s okay…”

                He smiled and rubbed her back, a few circles, and then let his hand fall to his side. He stepped around her to the refrigerator and retrieved himself a beer. As he twisted the top off his ale and tossed the cap, he heard a crash and looked up, seeing Elena standing over a pan on the ground. She was crying, heavily, and didn’t even attempt to pick the pan up. So, Nate calmly walked over, picked up the pan, and put it in the sink. Then he turned to Elena, pulling her into a tight hug, feeling her sobs against his chest. “What’s wrong?”

                Elena mumbled something in his chest before she pulled back from his embrace and looked up at him with red eyes. “I can’t do anything. I’m in such pain, and limited by it all!”

                Nate frowned. This was not the young woman he had fallen in love years ago. “You can do anything you want,” he reassured. “This is just a step in the healing. It’s like,” he waved his hand as he tried to think. “It’s like when you are sick. You don’t feel like yourself when you are sick, but in a few days, you get back into the swing of things.”

                Elena didn’t look convinced. “I want to go for a run! I want to play volleyball, go surfing… I want to be able to cook without dropping the heavy pans!” She wiped the heavy tears from her face. She felt like collapsing. The crying and heaving hurt her chest, and her hip ached from the day’s activities. She reached out for support from the counter. Nate saw this and reached out to her. “Nate! I just want to have sex with you!”

                Though he was taken by surprise, Nate chuckled. “We can do that when you are feeling better.” Though he wanted to have sex with her too, and to hear it from her only made his desires worse. However, he did not want to hurt her, and their last experience was only a week ago and was most painful to her and to him.

                “All these things are things I cannot do,” Elena continued to rant between her sobs.

                Nate finally grabbed her, pulling her towards him. Before Elena could argue, Nate planted his lips on hers. The emotion was there, and as gentle as it was, there was still a sense of determination. As they parted, Elena sniffled, but her sobs were frozen. “You can do that,” he whispered to her. “Is that not something that you want to do?”

                Elena smiled.

                “And, I know that you love reading,” Nate continued. “You can read a book with me on the balcony.” He used his thumb to wipe a tear away.

                Elena knew that Nate was sweet in his own ways, but he normally wasn’t like this. He had more of a habit of avoiding conflict and awkward situations. It was a small slit of Nathan Drake that she normally didn’t see, and it was a comfort to her, even though she still felt down on herself.

                He kissed her forehead and reached behind her for another pan. “I’ll help you with dinner.” He smiled. “We can do it, together…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... That was a bit dark. And longer too. I try not to write too long of chapters as I don't want to lose the audience. But I think Elena needed some attention here. There'd be quite a bit that was going on, and quite a bit that would be consequential to the explosion that needs to be written about. I did try to end it happily. I hope it feels real. Let me know what you all think!


	9. Rainy Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jump ahead a few weeks, Nathan and Elena finally have the time they have been looking forward to together.

 

                They woke to rain. It started as a downpour, thunder woke them in the morning. She looked out the window with a yawn, noticing her sun was clouded and the sky was falling. It was a disappointment. Her surgery had gone well. She was hoping to get out and free herself from the confinements of her own home. She supposed it wasn’t a complete loss. They’d stay in and cuddle. She did have some chores she had been putting off, mostly because of healing after the surgery was done mostly by her naps. She sat up in her bed and stretched, or tried to. Maybe the storm made her stiffer, but she felt tight and painful. _A shower_ , she told herself. _A nice hot shower_.

                As she started to stir with intentions of getting up and showering, she felt two strong arms pull her into a source of great warmth. _So much for that_ , she giggled to herself. _I still can’t complain…_ She wiggled into him, snuggling and settling into his embrace.

                “Good morning.” His voice was rough and dry, but quite on her neck.

                Elena giggled and turned her head. “Good Morning.”

                He was a great cuddler. In fact, many people would not have guessed he liked cuddling, and she was sure he didn’t want anyone to know his soft side. But she had to stop and think about it for a minute, even though she didn’t want to. Was it the same with Chloe as her? Or was he different with her? Was her more of himself with her? She was different with Jeff… But Jeff was not Nathan in any way. Jeff was secure, consistent, overall financially and emotionally safe.

                She could smell him. It was something she remembered missing once he was gone. He’d been staying with her for almost three weeks now and she’d never grown old of that smell. She supposed Nate was doing the same thing as his nose was in her hair as he hummed an approval. She felt something else approving against her behind. The thing wasn’t that she couldn’t. She wanted to. She wanted to so badly. She wanted to show him her thanks for being there, for choosing her. She wanted his acceptance. She wanted to feel like the explosion never happened. So, she rubbed her butt against his erection and heard his hum in her hair grow louder.

                She couldn’t say that she was entirely intimidated by Chloe sexually. Nate chose her, even in her broken and raw condition. She knew Nate couldn’t have just been with two women. She took him as a lady’s man to begin with. But Chloe was… she was better. She was more of Nate’s type. And the overwhelming thoughts of Nate leaving her for Chloe once she was better plagued her. She hoped he wasn’t there just to make himself feel better about what happened to her…

                “How are you feeling?”

                Elena nodded with a smirk. “Sore… What’s new? But good.”

                She felt his hands run down her sides. It was like a little electric shock down her body and she felt herself shiver from the pleasure. This morning, she was not going to get up from the bed and ignore him. She was not going to fear the pain. Elena rolled over to face Nate. He was so adorable in the morning. His hair was a mess as she reached up with one hand to play with it. He just leaned into her fingers, bringing their lips closer to kiss.

                His breath was warm, and the kiss was gentle, tender like his touches were. But underlining of the kiss clearly begged for her attention, her own desires, and her own thoughts to be acted upon. It was so nice of a kiss, as they parted, she kissed him again. Her kiss was a bit more forceful and felt needier. She _was_ needy. Elena needed him. Nate was quick to accommodate, for he needed her too. He had been patient, aware of her needs to heal. However, he could not forget their last attempt to reconnect as a couple.

                Elena could feel his hesitance. Her hands grabbed at his chest and she moaned in the kiss. That seemed to be the reassurance he needed. Nate’s arms wrapped quickly and forcefully around her as he pulled her into him. He groaned and almost whined as they parted to breathe. “Elena,” he breathed. She could feel his excitement and her hand reached down between them to take his erection in her hand. Morning erections are normal, she knew that, but this was just impressive. She squeezed her hand around him earning a groan from both of them.

                Before Nate could react, Elena pushed him roughly back. She sat up and swung her leg over him, mounting his hips. “Oh?” Nate chuckled as she sat on him. “In that kind of mood?”

                Elena shrugged nonchalantly but knew she was in that kind of mood. She was happy since she was on top of him and he wasn’t pushing her off in pain. That was good news. She pivoted her pelvis against his with a smirk. She felt his hands grasp her hips, and although she could feel the pressure on her hip wound, she craved more of it. She lifted at the hem of her shirt and pulled her shirt off, over her head, earning a grin and moan from Nathan. He lifted his hips, now grinding against her, expressing his immediate excitement.

                It seemed that in the moment, in that second, Nathan and Elena fulfilled something that they both felt the Universe was meant for them. It seemed so right, and Elena growled at herself for waiting so long. Nathan growled that she was not in the condition for so long. He couldn’t get enough of her. As his lips tasted her skin, it was ecstasy to his tongue. His fingers glided over her skin, touching every scar and every bump that was left, and she still felt perfect. Every moan, groan, and breath of hers made him wildly mad inside. He just couldn’t get enough.

                To Elena… it was electrifying. Her hands never left his body. She kissed up and down his chest to his navel, stopping once to look solemnly at his scar, kissing it, and looking up into his light blue eyes. But it wasn’t a stopping point. It wasn’t even a pause, just an acknowledgment. Then her lips were back on him. He held her hands above her head, but his grip was soft enough to express his love, tight enough to express his passion. Elena squirmed in pleasure. When his hands slipped her shorts of her, she about lost it, and from the grown, Nathan expressed, she was sure he almost lost it as well.

                She was actually planning on being on top, in hopes that she’d escape any pain that’d ruin the connection, but Nate seemed to have other plans. She wasn’t going to try to argue anyway. He held onto her hips, the same soft but firm grip, as he tasted her, licking at her folds. There was no pain, besides the pressure from her hip. Maybe it was the fact that she’d been in pain for so long, but the pleasure was so intense. Her hands, once resting on her head where Nate had held them, reached desperately to his head where she grabbed his hair. She arched her back, curled her toes, and moaned loudly. The moan, the reward to his ears from his gift of pleasure, caused his erection to throb. Each moan did.

                Through this tangle of limbs, moans, and kisses, no words were spoken. Maybe there should have been something, but the touches and the kisses said it all. It spoke to them on deeper levels, because, with no one else did they feel this way. No doubt, Chloe was great in bed, a whole lot of fun, but it wasn’t this… whatever this was. And Jeff, though he was soft, comforting, he lacked the… assertiveness that Nathan was driven on.

                Nate kissed up her navel, to her breasts, ending on her lips. He entered her slowly, trying not to excite himself, and Elena felt it but her hips buck at the pleasure. Then they froze. Nate’s eyes were squeezed shut as he concentrated on holding out, while Elena caught her breath and looked at him. Her hands glided up his back, around his neck, and held his face. It was rough, needing a shave. She smiled, leaning up into him, kissing him. She felt his response immediately as he pressed her into her pillow and kissed her fiercely. His abs tightened as he trusted deep within her, groaning madly into the kiss. There was nothing that could turn them back. They were on high, mountaintop high, screaming what could only be the most organic form of expression.

                Nate collapsed next to Elena, breathing heavily and looking at the ceiling. Elena didn’t feel like moving either. They just stayed there, both looking at the ceiling for several moments before Elena relented and rolled over to put her hand on his chest. She kissed his breast and lightly placed her chin on it.

                “Wow,” he breathed as he looked down at her. “And… you’re okay?”

                Elena giggled. She was better than okay. She felt complete, content, and calm. Her anxiety was gone, and for those minutes, she felt as if nothing else in the world mattered. She was the same as she always was, a young, light-hearted and passionate woman, who was adventurous and energetic in everything she did. Nothing from the past couple months seemed to ever happen. She wasn’t reminded of anything depressing or haunting. It was just her and Nate, and that was something that was needed.

                “A little short,” he muttered and shrugged. “But no pain?”

                Elena shook her head and continued to smile.

                Nate nodded and grinned. “Then my work is done here,” he snickered. He put an arm around her and held her close. Silence closed in and they could hear the rain hitting the window as the wind gently picked up outside. “I guess we are not going out today…”

                Elena shook her head again. “That’s okay…” She sat up and stretched. “I just have to send a few emails and we can just lounge around in our pajamas.”

                “Oh,” Nate laughed. “Sounds good to me.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you guys a good chapter was coming! I think they deserve a little play time. I know it's short, and not that detailed, and I do apologize. But as always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, let me know so!


	10. Called Chloe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chloe takes a turn to think about Nathan and she worries that they won't remain friends.

                Chloe tapped her pen against her notebook as she studied some notes. Her mind was so disorganized lately. She took a light sip of her beer as she looked at her surroundings. Everyone there seemed to be having their own good time. No one really seemed to be paying any serious attention to her. She’d already received a few free drinks, but none of them were from anyone she’d consider seriously _. I should consider some fun_ , she thought as she watched some girls flirt with some men playing billiards. But she shook her head and turned back to the notebook. Her latest adventure with Nate had left her broke. She was thankful enough to have a client waiting for her response. She just needed to study and build a plan before acting on her job.

                He still plagued her though. She had thought about calling him too. She thought about just asking him how he was, what he was up to, what he was doing, and such. Small talk. She was better at small talk than he was. He’d probably be speculative about her. Knowing that he was with Elena was harder to get past when you just wanted small talk. She just wanted her friend.

                She tapped the pen a couple more times to the beat of the song in the background before setting it down and having another drink. She was looking for an excuse to call him. Maybe she could play stupid and ask for his help. She could always invite him along, keeping it professional of course. She figured he wasn’t out doing something anyway, he might enjoy a little fun. She took another drink and looked down at her notes. Or, she could just call and say hi.

                The bartender wiped up a spot next to her. “What are you working on?”

                _Uhg_ , she thought annoyed. _Small talk._ “Just a project,” she answered sweetly, not giving away her inner feelings.

                The bartender nodded, maybe feeling that she didn’t want to talk about it and stood there nervously. “What do you do for a living if you are working on a project in a bar?”

                Chloe looked up from her notebook, trying hard to hide her annoyed feelings. “Antique procurement specialist…”

                The bartender nodded dumbly before walking away.

                Chloe closed her notebook and put it in her bag before drinking the last of her drink and standing up. She knew what she was going to have to do. She was going to have to sneak her way into a high security, highly public event, and sneak her way into a back room, and slip out undetected with a book from the crusader era. The hardest part was going to be walking out. Things that fit in her pocket made it incredibly easy to steal, but this book was no slouch and needed to be brought back with tender care to ensure its condition.

                _If I had someone… a partner_ , she tried to reason _. I know it’d help_. She laughed out loud. _Not that I need **his** help… right?_ She opened the door to her hotel and stood at the elevator, looking at the doors. _He’s my friend. It’s not weird to just call and say hi… But would he think it was something more than hi? Do I want it to mean more than hi?_ The elevator doors opened and she stepped in, pressing floor 4 to her room. It was more than just hi, and she was supposed to be the more mature one out of the two. _But that’s why we are so good together_ … It was a whine in her head. She was over him, but their experiences and their affections were not forgotten. Chloe honestly wanted to remain a friend to him, stay close to him, because what they had was something so profoundly special. There was no reason why she couldn’t just call and say hi.

                As she shut the door behind her, she kicked off her shoes and dropped her bag besides her shoes. She pulled her hair from her ponytail and ran her fingers through it, massaging her scalp. _You’ve got this, Chloe Frazer,_ she reassured herself. _You don’t need him_. “Well, of course, I don’t need him,” she said to herself out loud, agreeing with her thoughts. “But I can miss him,” she sighed.

                It was the fact that they were friends. They’d spent several adventures together. They’d spent several nights together. Though it was quite a drama between the two of them, and he had reasons to doubt her, she never had reasons to doubt him. Chloe knew that she could trust him completely. Maybe that’s why he was plaguing her mind lately. She didn’t feel she could trust anyone else around her.

                Chloe rubbed her face. Just as she readied herself to go to bed, she heard a buzz on the nightstand. She lifted her phone and looked at the caller ID before answering, however, she was more shocked by the name she saw.

                “Hello,” she greeted. “Is it weird that I was just thinking about you?”

                A laughed came through on the other end. “Oh? That is kind of funny.”

                “What’s going on?” She smirked as she heard his voice. It was light and even happy sounding.

                “Elena is at work. So, I thought I’d call and catch up with you.”

                “She’s doing better?”

                “Yeah. She had a surgery to remove some more shrapnel, but she’s been doing better since then. She’s going to work more.”

                Chloe chuckled. “I’m glad to hear she’s doing well.” It wasn’t a lie. Chloe was happy. “How are you doing?”

                “Bored.”

                Chloe looked out her window at the city lights around her. “I’d imagine. Are you working at all? Or just sitting around?”

                “Hey…” he laughed. “I’m finding work.”

                “Are you working a normal job?” She emphasized ‘normal.’

                There was a short pause. “I’m trying.”

                “Is that what you want?”

                Another short pause. “I don’t want to get shot at anymore.”

                Chloe laughed. “You’ve been shot at all those other times! Why does it bother you now?”

                “Okay, I don’t want to get shot anymore.”

                “Specific difference there,” she continued to laugh. “I’ve got a job that you might like if you want to tag along…” She might as well invite him on it to be nice, though her gut turned as it wished deeply that he’d say yes.

                “Tempting…” He hummed on the other end of the line. “I need the money… What’s the danger?”

                “Really? You have never feared anything! As long as I have known you!”

                “It’s just a little fresh…”

                Chloe nodded though she knew he couldn’t see it. “Yeah… But none of this has bothered you before. What’s really getting at you?”

                Silence.

                She didn’t know what to say. She was bothered by the idea of him scared. “Are you okay?”

                “Yeah.”

                “Don’t want to talk about it?”

                “Not really.”

                Chloe sat down on her bed and looked at the TV. “Okay…” She drifted off. “Well, if you change your mind, I’ll be here.”

                “I’ll think on it.” His voice was low. Maybe he would consider it. Chloe knew it’d probably be good for his mentality to be doing what he did best…

                “Well,” Chloe smiled. “It’s so good to hear from you.”

                “Oh defiantly.”

                “I don’t want to not hear from you.” It was an honest confession from her.

                He chuckled on the other end.

                “Nate…”

                “Yeah?”

                “I’m happy that you are happy.”

                He chuckled again. “I’m not bad. Doing pretty good.”

                She smiled and looked down at her toes as she wiggled them. “No,” she said softly. “You sound very happy.”

                He didn’t respond.

                “I’ve got a big day tomorrow,” she said as she felt awkward. “Let’s talk more later.”

                “Yeah,” he agreed slowly. “I suppose. Elena expects me to apply at a couple places today. She said I have to start contributing since I’ve been living off her like a lazy ass.”

                “Her words?”

                He laughed. “Yeah. She’s not happy that I’ve just been hanging out.”

                “I see,” she said with a giggle. “Normal Nate… being bossed around by little Elena…”

                “Hey,” he said in laughter, “She can kick my ass! I’m just thankful she’s letting me stay here!”

                Chloe laughed as she imaged that. “It’s hard to imagine you getting your ass handed to you by anyone but me.”

                He coughed as he tried to compose himself. “I think that’s a conversation for another time.”

                “Yeah,” she agreed. “I have to find someone to help me with this job…”

                “Good luck.”

                “You don’t have any friends?”

                “Apparently my friends just like to blow up my other friends.”

                Chloe rolled her eyes. “Oh dear….”

                He chuckled at his own jokes. “If I think of anyone, I’ll let you know.”

                “I’m going to go to bed,” she sighed. “Thanks for the call.”

                “Good hearing from you, Chloe.”

                “Good hearing from you, Nate.”

                “Find me something shiny?”

                Chloe chuckled. “I’ll work on that. Good night.”

                “Night.”

                Chloe pressed the red button on her phone, ending the call and smiled softly. That was too much of a coincidence. But it felt good to know that he was thinking of her too. She settled into bed and couldn’t stop smiling, even as he eyes fluttered shut, she felt comforted knowing that he was thinking of her. Maybe she could talk him into a job. She knew he’d like being back at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Chloe and Nate had a very interesting relationship and they were...are... very good friends. It is worrisome when you realize that your very close friend is changing direction than you'd expect or than what you thought they would. And I think that Nate could have been battling his own feelings because he did love Chloe. I do think that he did. (That's why he called after Elena went to work.) And, of course, as we all know, they remain friends through this. I think they would be talking and chatting even after they broke up.


	11. Getting a Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate introspects and thinks about what he wants in his life. He even goes out and gets a job!

                Nathan put down his phone and looked at the door. Elena had left just over an hour ago, but their latest conversation was still fresh in his mind. He wanted to talk to Chloe more about it, maybe see if she could talk some sense into him. She was such a close friend and he didn’t even think he could talk to her about what was going on with him. He looked down at his feet and shifted. He was feeling uncomfortable on the couch. It seemed like the pain was a forever memory and his hand rested on his scar above his hip as he remembered how cold and painful it was. He closed his eyes tight as he thought back to seeing Elena covered in blood, crying out in pain. He could hear her moaning and crying. He opened his eyes to feel tears forming. It’d been a few months but it was so fresh in his mind. Every day he seemed to fight the terrors that haunted him. The worst part was, he was fighting it on his own.

                Nate picked up the newspaper and looked through a few of the classified as he tried to focus on the task that Elena had given him. Instead, all he could think about was how he could fuck it up. “Home Depot,” he muttered with a sigh. “I’d destroy the place in an hour…” he set the paper down and looked up at the ceiling. “Do they have jobs that specialize in destroying everything around you and put friends and co-workers at risk?” He blinked at the ceiling, almost waiting for an answer from an unknown participant of the conversation.

                He turned his head to look out the window, seeing open sky, towards the beach, outside. He should have gone with Elena and he felt guilty for not supporting her. He knew it was going to be hard for her, specifically today, but instead opted to find a job… a _normal_ job. They’d talked over breakfast about finances. It was mostly a foreign conversation since Nate didn’t really worry about any of that. He had his own apartment but really didn’t stay there. It’d become something of a place for all his junk. He was broke, and essentially living off Elena’s savings. The conversation that morning had clarified it. And, to her credit, he should go out and contribute.

                Nate got up and opened the balcony door, smelling the fresh sea air and feeling the warm sun on his face. He remembered as Elena readied for work. She was somber but was moving better. He felt comfortable letting her go on her own. But when she said, “I was thinking,” he felt his stomach turn. How did he become so insecure? And it seemed to get worse and worse as he stayed there and mulled over it. Nate tightened his grip on the railing on the balcony. What was he afraid of? What kept him from being himself? He let her walk out without him escorting her. Even in her daily soreness, he let her walk out by herself. It killed him and worried him, but he still let her do it. He chuckled as he thought about that, looking down at the street and its people below _. I can’t let her know_ , he thought to himself, frowning. _I can’t lose it in front of her…_

                “We need to talk,” she said as she buttered a piece of toast. “I was thinking.”

                Nate remembered looking up the cereal box and looked at her.

                “When do you think you’ll go back to work?”

                He chewed on his lip as he thought about it.

                “I mean,” she continued as she added some strawberry jam to her toast. He’d watched her hands delicately hold the butter knife and the soothing swaying motions that it made to add the smooth jam to her wheat toast. “You can’t be planning to just sit here the rest of your life. What do you want to do?”

                Nate didn’t have an answer for her. Well… he did, but he didn’t think she’d understand. Elena went right back to work when she could. She’d pushed herself, and still was, to work and get back into the swing of life. It’s not like he didn’t want to, but it was hard to explain. He’d only done one thing in his life, and he was very good at it. But now, he couldn’t find himself doing it again

                “You going to go with Sully somewhere? Don’t you want to get back into the swing of things?”

                It’s not that he didn’t. “I’m not sure,” he finally admitted.

                Elena looked worried. He was sure she could see right through him, all his fears and all his worries. And yet, he was the guy who lived by the seat of his pants. He didn’t make plans, he just went with the motions and just did it. Now, he was questioning himself and his future.

                “Are you okay?”

                Nate nodded and took a bit of his cereal.

                “Nathan,” Elena said with concern.

                Nate shrugged and looked back up at her. “I’m not sure what I want to do. I don’t know if I want to go back to treasure hunting. I’m tired of getting shot at, tired of putting my friends in danger, and tired of screwing everything up.”

                Elena looked skeptical while Nate was trying his best not to let her know how insecure he currently was. “I’m sure,” she tried to reassure, “that you do not screw everything up.”

                Nate stood up quickly, pushing the stool out with a skidding sound and put his hands on the counter. “Elena, the biggest mistake I made was leaving you in the first place. If I wouldn’t have left you, maybe none of this would have happened.” He motioned to her in general as he sighed heavily.

                Elena laughed out loud as she came around to his side. “You think that is was you that caused me getting blown up?” She reached up, taking his face in her hands. “Nate, I was going to go after Lazarevic with or without you. Breaking up with me had nothing to do with it.”

                Nate wasn’t so sure. He shrugged. “I just don’t know.”

                Elena giggled again as she moved to the door, slipping on a pair of worn down sneakers and grabbing her backpack. “Well,” she said. “You are living off my savings. And if you are trying to live a normal life, you’ll need to go get a job.”

                Nate grimaced at the thought of normality.

                “I know how you are,” she pointed at him. “You’re going to get restless. At least go looking today, put in a few applications… do something!”

                “Are you sure that you’ll be okay without me?” Nate tilted his head and gave a puppy-dog look. 

                “You’re the one who didn’t want to go,” Elena accused jokingly. “He wasn’t your friend anyway. He was mine. And I’ll be fine.”

                Nate leaned against the railing as he thought on it. Then he called Chloe in hopes that she’d offer him some kind of support, but even she was under the understanding that he was supposed to go back to treasure hunting. He remembered their conversation before, about the future and where he wanted to be in five years’ time. It all seemed to be piling up. He had six different thoughts, six different fears, all rushing through his head and he wasn’t sure where to go next.

                He’d applied at a few places, but wasn’t serious about any of them. He did it mostly because of Elena’s nagging. He wasn’t even sure how to get a job. And Elena tried to help him, but it’s not like he had references to sport. He chuckled as he remembered that he had called Sully and asked for help. Sully simply told him not to use any of their friends as references and good luck. But Sully did sound happy that he was going to try to make it in the normal scheme of things. Then there were the interviewing questions. What was he supposed to tell them? “I didn’t like my last job because I got shot at?” Then they’d ask how he got shot and he’d have to make up some story because there was no job out there that finding Shambala and saving the world was a prerequisite. He had no job history either.

                He tried to talk himself out of it, finding ridiculous reasons to stay home, but they were all weak excuses and even he knew it. He went back inside, but left the balcony door open for fresh air. He’d started really exercising while Elena was gone. It kept him busy for the most part, but meeting her for lunch was the highlight of his day. Even though she always looked tired, she was still happy. Nate rubbed his face. Why was it so much easier for her than him? Even El Dorado zombies didn’t have this much effect on him! Today was the worst it’d been in a long time too.

                He reached for his cell phone as it buzzed in his pocket. “Hello?”

                “How’s it going today?”

                “Okay.” He wasn’t lying… but he wasn’t going to tell her he was just minutes short of a mental breakdown. “I thought you were at the memorial?”

                “I had to get some other stuff done first. But I forgot to ask you to go get some sandwich meat at the butcher shop that I like down the street.”

                “I can do that.”

                “Maybe pick up some chicken for dinner…”

                “Yeah,” he agreed. “I’ll go do that right now.”

                “Thank you, Nate.” He could hear her smile. “I’m walking out to the memorial. I’ll see you later, okay?”

                “Later…”

                He looked at his phone as the line was dropped and he slowly put the phone back in his pocket. He moved to the door to put his shoes on and start down the street. Nate was pretty familiar with the place she was talking about. They’d gone there a couple times to pick up sandwiches. It was a deli butcher shop combo place just a few blocks down. Getting out helped him as well and he debated more on his current situation. He could, and thought heavily on, calling Chloe back and accepting the offer. Maybe that’s what he needed. He needed to get back into the saddle, just jump into a job. It’d probably pay more than some job that Elena and Sully expected him to get.

                As he approached the shop, he noticed a sign in the window and he stopped to read it. “Help wanted…” he whispered to himself. “I did promise to try and get a job.” But he had little doubts that he’s be considered.

                “How can I help you?” The man behind the counter was tall, a little taller than Nate, with broad shoulders and dark hair.

                “Can I get some turkey,” Nate pointed to the turkey breast. “Sliced thin, and some roast beef, sliced thin.” Nate watched as the man nodded and reached for the turkey breast. “And I need two chicken breasts for dinner tonight.”

                “No problem. Anything else?”

                Nate took a deep breath. “I saw your sign. You are looking for some help?”

                The tall man stopped and turned to Nate, looking thoughtfully at him. “I am. Are you interested?” His voice was deep and course but his face friendly and warm.

                Nate nodded. “Yeah, I’m currently looking for work.”

                “Have you worked in a butcher shop before?”

                Nate seriously debated lying but shook his head and told the truth instead. “No,” he smiled nervously. “Honestly, I’ve never had a job before.”

                The man looked surprised, crossing his arms and nodded as he listened.

                “I don’t have any references, or prior employers, but I can work.” Nate scratched his head and sighed.

                “Well,” the man nodded and grinned. “Why are you looking now if you’ve never had a job before?”

                “I’ve had jobs,” Nate quickly corrected. “They were… just paid under the table.”

                “Ahh,” the man mouthed.

                “I’m… I’m starting new,” he tried to explain. “My girlfriend wants something different for us.”

                The butcher walked into the back and was gone for a few minutes. When he came back he asked, “When can you start?”

                Nate blinked. “I can start tomorrow.” A smile crept it’s way onto his face.

                “You’ll be cutting and slicing meat, keeping the place sanitary… But I’ll give you chance.”

                Nate nodded and smiled. How did that happen so easily?

                “If you do well here, I’ll give you a reference to your next job and a start your job history.”

                “Thank you,” Nate said happily, extending his hand.

                The butcher reached out in return and shook Nate’s hand. “And what’s my new employee’s name?”

                “I’m Nate, I mean, Nathan Drake.”

                “Hi Nate,” he smiled. “I’m Charles. We open at five tomorrow morning to get ready. I expect to see you then.”

                Nate nodded. “I can do that.”

                “Let me get your sandwich meat here and chicken…”

                Nate walked out of the shop feeling much better. In fact, he felt like calling Chloe to tell her the good news. Maybe he could be normal Maybe he could make this work. As he puffed out his chest, feeling pride and accomplishment, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's about to get a bit real. I'm trying to write longer chapters too. Please let me know if you are still reading! And let me know what you think about the story so far!


	12. The Memorial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena is asked to say something at Jeff's memorial. Afterwards, she realizes that she's has more than just physical battle scars.

 

                She did wish that he would have come with her, but she understood why he didn’t. She suspected there was more going on with him than he let her know. They were both going through things in their heads. But she was determined not to let it get her down. Especially today. They were holding a memorial for Jeff, and they’d asked her to speak about him since they were good friends in the end. So, she had to write something about Jeff, and prepare herself for the mental breakdown that she was sure she was going to have.

                While Nate was battling images of himself getting shot, or her getting blown up, she battled seeing a friend be shot, dragged through a war zone, and then executed by a psychotic war criminal. As much as she didn’t want Nate to know, her and Jeff were a bit more than friends. So to see Jeff in that kind of condition was the dreaded imagery that she fought with. It would be similar if she’d seen Nate get shot in front of her.

                She frowned as she looked at her notes. Seeing Nate in the condition that they found him in did bother her. He was reckless. She never wanted to see that happen again. However, there was a difference in mindset between the two of them. This, despite her own ghosts, encouraged her to find the bad guys, to go and bring these savages to justice. As of recently, especially with her slow healing, her bosses were reluctant to send her into the field again. She’d talked to a few of them in passing how she was excited to go across seas and report again, but they said they weren’t going to put her into a dangerous position again and encouraged her to heal. She didn’t want to “heal,” she wanted to work.

                There were quite a few people at the memorial. It was a little late to be held, but they were waiting in hopes of getting his body back before. Jeff’s parents were there, his little sister and brother. They were awarded a plaque. “To the dedication of the corresponder, to find the truth and to expose corruption.” They also placed a picture in the building and decided to hold a memorial for him. She was surprised to see how many flowers were there and surprised to see other people than his family and the office.

                The sun was shining, which she found fitting for him, and she felt warm as she stood at the podium. “I had the honor of being with him in his last moments.” She knew she had to be careful. It was her story that described his last days. “I … Um… I honestly loved him.” She scratched her cheek and smiled. “Jeff was an amazing guy. And I know we say that about everyone who passes before we think they should, but he was. He was soft and caring, and very focused as an individual.” She looked around at the people who had stopped to listen to her. “I will always believe that his death was unavoidable. Jeff, and I, would have ended up in that situation at that point or later on. That’s why we got along. When we first met, I was going through a break up. I was having a rather bad day at work and working in an office full of journalist has its cons. Everyone wants to ask questions, but we all really want to do is just watch others in misery and report it. Jeff came over to me while I was eating lunch and said, ‘I’m no journalist, so I’m not going to ask you why. But I am a camera-man, and I have seen my share fair to know you need help.’ Help. He approached me to help me. As we got to know each other, and I got on the fated project, he was not only eager to join the cause, but I was more than happy to ask him along. And it was all voluntary. That’s the wildest part that I want everyone to know. We knew the risks. We knew what we were up against. But he was just as passionate about bringing a fugitive war criminal to justice as I was.

                “When asked to speak about Jeff, I was at first puzzled. However, we were very close. And he was so easy to love. I relied on him for more than just his amazing filming skills. Jeff had quite the eye for picture and placement. But one memory, in particular, stands out as one of my favorites, even while we were together. Jeff was a really quiet guy.” Elena smiled as she wiped a tear as she remembered. “That’s why he’d tell people he was the camera-guy. Because he had nothing to say.” She chuckled. “But we had been on this imaginary trail and was waiting outside our hotel for a source to come back with some information. I have experience with cameras so I was playing with his camera while he was drinking a soda and we sat and waited. I pointed the camera at him and asked him if he was on the other end of the camera, what would he report. He smiled, grinning the way he normally did, and said, ‘I’d do weather.” Elena laughed into the mic and smiled out into the crowd. “So, I said, what’s the weather, Jeff? And he stuck his finger in his mouth, pointed it to the sky and said, ‘it’s sunny.’ And that’s all. He was very matter of fact and simple.”

                Elena sobered as she read the next part of her speech. “We were ambushed,” she began as she held back tears. “And he was shot distracting them from my position. We were blessed to have a stranger come and help move him to a different spot where he died and that stranger helped me escape.” She looked back at her notes. “And in those last moments that Jeff and I had together, he still was thinking about others around him than himself. We were out there looking for the bad guy. He wanted to change the world as I did, and he gave his life in the attempt to expose a war criminal.” She looked over at his name which was etched into the wall. “I think about him every day. I think about his smile in particular. The world will miss his smile…” Elena wiped a tear. “From him, we need to honor a memory that motivates us as reporters and correspondents to find the truth and to hold to our values and integrity. He was my support when we were all alone. And it’s that support we need to give to others.” Elena bit her lip as she looked at the last of her notes. “Thank you.”

                She stepped off as clapping started and she moved back into the building to hide her tears. A friend pulled her into a hug and he boss patted her shoulder and nodded. Elena had to walk by the road, on the sidewalk, still holding the tears, to go back inside and hide herself from the other people crying. He boss walked behind her, concerned. She knew he was there. She didn’t see the car drive next to her though as her vision was blurry and narrowed. And when it sped up, it backfired.

                This was a common occurrence. But Elena was not ready for it. She tensed up, fell to the ground and wrapped her arms around herself. An “oaf” huffed out of her lungs as she hit the ground and she cried out. Her whole body hurt for a second and as she pulled a hand away from herself, she expected to see red, but nothing. She felt danger, immediately, and fear took over as she huddled against the wall of the building. She expected at any moment to see Lazarevic, to see Jeff bloody and slouched against the overturned table. She closed her eyes tight, not wanting to see any of it, but was only rewarded with that of what she feared. A Harry Flynn looking at her, smiling sadistically, sadly, at her as he dropped the grenade. Her eyes instantly shot open as she looked around again. _No_ , she thought through her rapid breaths, _this can’t be happening_. As she looked up, she saw her boss kneeling next to her, asking if she was okay, but she couldn’t hear him. He was blurry, faded, like a ghost and she wondered if he was real. Elena looked around, looking for something else familiar, looking for Nate or Chloe, trembling. Her editor could only see his prized journalist clearly broken.

                She let her tears fall to the face as she felt the fear rage through her. Suddenly she didn’t feel safe, and her safety, Nathan, was not there. She was fearful of everything. She feared why she could not hear her friend and editor talk to her. She feared that she couldn’t find the source of the explosion. She feared why her body hurt. She shook violently and covered her face on the sidewalk. Finally, her boss’s voice began to come to her ears, talking to her, but now she couldn’t respond. She looked, in panic and fear as she could not find her voice to ask for help. Another person must have stopped because she felt them pull her up onto her feet and pull her inside. She didn’t see this person until she was on her feet and they pulled her inside.

                “Elena,” her editor kept repeating. “Elena, look at me.”

                She looked up at him and blinked a couple times. She didn’t even feel like she was in control anymore, which terrified her even more.

                “There’s no way,” someone said out of her eyesight. “We can’t send her back across seas.”

                “What happened there?”

                There were several voices, but she could only see her editor’s face. She tightly closed her eyes again only to feel her body jolt as she saw a bright light flash. She gasped as she opened her eyes again and looked around.

                “Shellshock,” another voice answered.

                She was so scared. She wasn’t even sure why. She had no sense of time. The voice continued to mutter around her. A blanket was soon wrapped around her and her editor sat next to her as she caught her breath. No, she thought through her tears _. I can’t_ …. _Don’t_ ….

                “It’s okay… Does someone have a number for her emergency contact?” Her editor looked around at the couple people nearby.

                “It was Jeff…” Replied a softer, quieter voice.

                It was Jeff. She’d changed it from her Father when he passed before she went to Panama, and she didn’t know Nate long enough to add him. When she met Jeff… they just clicked from the beginning and she had no one else at the time who she was close enough with....

                Elena handed her editor her phone and looked up at him. “Nate,” she whispered. “Nate will come get me.” She hoped he’d come get her. Even with all of the people around her, in general concern for her, she felt alone. She didn’t feel like anyone here would understand her fear. She didn’t think that anyone could relate. There was no help, and maybe it was just something that would pass. So she sat and focused on breathing… In and out…

                She didn’t know how long she was out, but as she started to come to and relax, she felt embarrassed. Her editor told her to take another day off, and they’d find someone to do her assignment. She felt like a mental patient to an extent, like she was unable to perform her job, which was not true at all. But that’s how it seemed they were treating her. They were afraid to touch her, afraid to talk to her… and she felt like they were even avoiding her. Besides her editor, no one really approached her, just him, and asked him about her. She didn’t want them to tiptoe around her! She wanted to go back into the field, be great again, be unstoppable! But instead, she was cowering in fear, because of a loud noise. And she wasn’t even sure if it was real. No one else reacted to it. Was it all in her head?

                Nathan got there as soon as he could. But to her, it was forever. She’d lost a sense of time and place for a moment. So, when he did show up, it felt like he’d forgotten about her. She was so excited to see him, she jumped into his arms and cried again. Nate wrapped his arms around her, asked no questions, and took her outside where they got into a cab. In that moment, he was the only thing she could trust. And she feared the world around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What an intense chapter. Even while I was writing it, I was on the edge of my seat. I hope everyone enjoys it.


	13. Looking for Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate and Elena had a bit of a fight, resulting in Nate to leave, to seek his own help, and for Elena to find hers.

                Nate sat on his barstool as he chewed on his sandwich. There was quite a bit on his mind, and on top of it, the tension in the apartment was at an all-time high. He had worked that day and was off for the rest of the night. He chewed idly, thinking about what they could do. Elena sat behind him on the couch with her head in her hands, stressing about an assignment. Since her breakdown at work, they seemed to very standoffish with her, giving her simple assignments which she found lacking the challenge that she desired. Nate was feeling a similar challenge. Though he was enjoying work, it lacked a sense of fulfillment and excitement. What was he expecting out of normality?

                “We have time,” Nate said between bites of his sandwich, “we could go down to Mexico and grab some tacos, lay on the beach and watch the sunset…” He looked over his shoulder to see Elena rubbing her temples.

                “I don’t have time,” she growled.

                “You’re working too hard,” he remarked, jokingly. “Come-on, you can work on that later, right? Maybe a break will do you good? Clear your mind.” He tossed the last bite in his mouth, wiping his hands on his pants.

                She just groaned, still not moving. Her face was buried in her computer screen and she was probably sitting too close to be good for her eyesight.

                Nate got up and moved to stand next to her. “Elena?”

                “Nate!” Elena yelled as she turned around. “I’m busy!”

                Nate stepped back, holding his hands up. “Don’t yell at me,” he defended. “I’m just looking for something to help you relax.”

                Elena growled and leaned back into her computer. “They don’t think I can do any of this anymore.”

                “Oh,” Nate laughed. “I don’t think that’s true.”

                Elena looked up at him, her eyes sad, and her face tired. She had that look on her face every day it seemed. There was just no making her happy anymore. “I asked to go back across seas…” She sniffled as she became overwhelmed with emotion. “Anywhere… I told them that I wanted to do more detailed assignments, and they said they were worried for my health and didn’t want me overworking it.”

                Nate frowned. “Well,” he put his hands in his pockets and stepped back. “I don’t want you stressing out either. I think you should warm back up going back out into the field.”

                Elena glared at him through the tears. “You don’t think I can do it either?”

                Nate held up his hands again. “This is a trap,” he said as he turned away.

                “No,” Elena demanded as she stood up. “You don’t think I’m going to be able to be a foreign correspondent either!”

                Nate turned around. “I think you’re healing.”

                “I’m fine!”

                “We both know that’s not true.”

                “Says you? You’re not even looking to go back to treasure hunting.”

                Nate glared back. “I just want to live a normal life. I thought we talked about this!”

                Elena laughed. “Nothing about you is normal.”

                “I know that you’re having a hard time,” Nate began, “but you don’t have to take it out on everyone else.”

                “Hard time?” Elena laughed out loud. “You didn’t collapse outside your work and make a complete embarrassment of yourself!”

                Nate blinked. “No,” he raised his voice. “I’ve only been trying to be someone I’m not!”

                “What normal? I could have told you that!”

                “You don’t want me around?” Nate waved his arm, indicating the apartment. “You want me to go out and get shot at?”

                Elena folded her arms. “No! But the least you could do is be truthful to yourself!”

                Nate laughed, mockingly. “Coming from you…”

                “You’re such an ass.” Her words snarled and growled at him.

                “So you say!” Nate turned, grabbing his jacket.

                “Oh,” Elena laughed, “You’re going to leave now?”

                Nate turned as he slipped his shoes on. “I’m not going to argue with you right now.” He opened the door, slamming the door behind him as he left.

                Elena collapsed, emotionally and physically. She wanted to just throw her computer across the room, scream at the top of her lungs, and bury herself in her bed. How was she supposed to explain to him her feelings and fears? She wasn’t even sure if he’d understand. And how would he understand? It wasn’t like he was ever be doubted of his abilities! She looked at the door angrily. He had it so easy, working a simple job, not having any worries. He was invincible, no dents or hardships! It enraged her. Why couldn’t she just pop back into work and society?

                Her glare turned to her computer. And why couldn’t her employer, and all their so-called encouragement, trust her to do a better job than easy tasks like these assignments? She didn’t want to be on the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th page! She was doing important, influencing, and world-changing news before! And she wasn’t any different, he ambitions and her goals had never changed. Couldn’t they see that? Even when she started the job she wasn’t put this low on the totem pole. If she didn’t want to read these articles, why should she write them? Her eyes squinted at her current article about the lack of funding for a specific man club that is old and traditional. She didn’t give two shits about any of it. Tomorrow she needed to contact some firm in Iowa about the lack of good and young lawyers in the state. She was sure the articles meant something to someone… but not to her.

                Elena found herself too worked up to even work on the article any more. She felt humiliated by everything. She had the most embarrassing incident, and now she was reduced so lowly that she felt as if her boss was making her miserable just to get her to quit. And she wasn’t about to quit. She worked herself up in a matter of seconds, feeling like calling her boss and demanding a more sophisticated and detailed job. And just as she worked up to that point, she dropped down into tears because she knew how useless it really was.

                She found herself in the shower, the hot water running down her bent over form. She had stopped crying for the moment and focused her energy on composing herself. It made sense why her editor was giving her easy jobs now. She was an emotional wreck. The hardest part was, Elena wasn’t sure where she was going to find the proper help. “I can’t even tell the truth,” she laughed out loud. But she made a promise to herself to get online and look anyway. “If I can just get some kind of help,” she told herself. “Admitting I need help makes me stronger… right?” She sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. “What are you doing, Fisher?” She looked at herself, almost with pity. She looked past the new scars and the red puffy eyes from crying. She saw a nearly broken woman with slouched shoulders and a blank stare. Where was her life? Where was her younger spunk and energy? The better question was where she going to find it again. Inside that blank stare was Elena Fisher, she just needed to find her.

                Her mind was spinning as she looked at counselors and psychologists online. There were plenty to choose from and she was sure her insurance would cover it. She just didn’t know where to start and she wasn’t sure what she was looking for. Her fingers ran through her wet hair and she massaged her scalp as she looked through all the names on her screen. It was overwhelming. She wasn’t completely suicidal, just frustrated… and mostly scared. She felt her chest grow tight and her eyes water as her hands pulled gently on her hair with frustration.

                Elena looked at the door, distracted by the curiosity of when Nate was going to return. She reached for her phone to notice that he hadn’t texted her. She frowned heavily and sighed. He needed his space. Now that she had meditated and calmed her emotions, she could agree that she snapped at him, but she also didn’t feel that he could completely understand her feelings. Hopefully, he would think over his own feelings and when he came back they could talk things over. If… he ever came back…

                “Sunshine Therapy and Medicine, my name is Rebecca, how can I help you?”

                “Thank you for calling Ocean View Counselors, how can I help you?”

                “Doctor Jeremy Rein’s office, my name is Melissa, how can we help you today?”

                “You have reached the office….”

                They all blended together and Elena felt herself in hopeless despair. All the options and she didn’t know what one was going to be best for her.

                “I’m wondering if you have any availability for a new client.”

                “We do. Are you in trouble, at risk of harming yourself or anyone around you, or suicidal?”

                “No,” Elena shook her head, even though she knew that the receptionist couldn’t see her. “I …um… I had a bit of a mental breakdown at work…”

                “Okay,” the voice said reassuringly. The tone was comforting to Elena and she didn’t feel judged. “What kind of breakdown?”

                “I think,” Elena gulped. “I have PTSD,” she admitted. It was a deep fear of hers. “I’m not sure, I’ve never been diagnosed.”

                “I understand. Have you had other incidences?”

                “No. I’m hoping for an appointment as soon as possible though.”

                “No problem. We can get you in for an assessment tomorrow. Are you available tomorrow morning at 11 am?”

                Elena was surprised and honestly relieved. “Really?”

                “Yes. We will have an initial assessment done on you, and evaluate you. Then we will get you to probably see Dr. Akon. She specializes in PTSD and trauma.”

                “Wow…” Elena really didn’t know what else to say.

                “Would you like to confirm tomorrow? We have other appointments available next week.”

                “No,” Elena chuckled into the phone. “Tomorrow is great. That’s great.”

                As Elena hung the phone up, she felt a rush of relief. She was going to get help. She was going to be okay. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she was going to be okay. After a cup of soup, Elena took a deep breath and finished her incredibly boring article and emailed it in. She turned on the news, watching it with an empty mind as she waited for Nathan to return. But even as the sunset and the sky grew dark, he didn’t return. She looked at her phone again but still no message from Nate. Now her stomach was turning about him.

                Elena wasn’t worried about him. She knew that Nate was fine. But she worried that he was going to just leave and not tell her anything. She worried about being abandoned. She bit her lip as she typed out a message to him. “Nate, I’m sorry for snapping at you. Let’s talk.” As she climbed into bed, she glanced at her phone again. He still hadn’t responded. “I’m not mad anymore. Please call me.” She stared at her phone, sighed heavily, and put it on the nightstand and turned off her light. She knew she wasn’t going to sleep well, but she needed to try. As she took one last deep breath before falling asleep, her phone buzzed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Repercussions from the last chapter. It was bound to happen. Elena would be very embarrassed. I know it's going very slow. I'm working on a few other things, and I took a long weekend so it's being published late. If everyone is interested to know where Nate went, I can publish the next chapter sooner than Friday.


	14. To New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He has a lot to think about. Nate jumps on a plane after a rushed decision and flies to New York. He's back in the game.

 

                Nathan Drake found himself walking down the sidewalk, with nowhere to go. Each step was solid and determined, his hands shoved deeply into his pockets, and he glared absently ahead. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do now. He needed some space and time to think about what happened and how he wanted to go on with this. He was angry, but he was worried about Elena. He walked slowly, kicking rocks as he went down the sidewalk. Nate knew that he couldn’t leave her, she needed his help. She was at her lowest point, and he didn’t think he could live without her. But he didn’t want to go back quite yet. What she had said was pretty hurtful.

                She was correct, though, and he knew that. He was pretending to be someone he wasn’t. He was deeply conflicted. He knew what he wanted, but what she didn’t understand was that he was going against his own grain for her. What happened in the Himalayans, in Shamballa, and on the train still flashed through his mind and, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was scared. He never wanted to come that close to losing something so close to him again. Nate stopped walking and blinked at that thought. He’d never had anything that close to him. He had Chloe… He jumped on a train and got shot trying to rescue her…

                What did Nate expect from himself? Who did he want to be? He frowned as he thought introspectively. It wasn’t his forte… He didn’t normally sit and evaluate himself. What kind of benefit did that ever bring him? He was better at acting, action, and decisions. He made things up as he went, not planned out his adventures step by step. And that brought his thoughts to Elena again. Did she want him to just start planning his life out and stop being spontaneous? He felt himself grind his teeth and he looked up at his surroundings. He didn’t even know where he was.

                Nate pulled out his phone and looked at it. There was no text or missed calls and he felt his chest grow tight with anxiety. He needed to get out. He needed to clear his mind, do something familiar… not take a walk down a city sidewalk. He scrolled through his contacts and looked through the names. He bit his lip as he thought, debated, and then clicked the name.

                “Hey, Nate!”

                “Chloe.”

                “Surprising to hear from you so soon.”

                “Yeah,” Nate chuckled in return. “I’ve really thought about it, and I think you’re right.”

                “I’m right?”

                “I need to get back into the field.” He looked around at the people passing by. They were drones to him, mindless drones working mindless jobs, and making nothing of their pitiful lives… it made him sad. He had to do the opposite and make something of himself.

                “Trouble in paradise?”

Nate scoffed. “No, well… I just…”

                “I’m actually on my way to New York. I could use an extra hand. It’s an easy job. It should only be a day job. You’ll be home the next day.”

                “Perfect. I can meet you there. I’ll get on a plane today.” His stomach turned. He almost felt as if he was cheating on Elena.

                “Awesome. I hope you’re okay with this…”

                “Why wouldn’t I be?”

                “Nate….”

                “I’ll call you when my plane lands.”

                It was entirely too much like him to do this and he called a cab to the airport. He was still too angry at Elena for calling him out. He didn’t need anything from the apartment, he’d go with the clothes on his back. He had some cash in his wallet, a credit card, and his ID… that’s all he needed. But he still felt at war with himself as he boarded the plane. It felt like he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing, even though Elena never told him not to do it. He wanted to go, and knowing that he had made the rash decision to jump back into the field made him excited.

                As he landed and made his way to a cheap hotel in New York City, he turned his phone on and slipped it back into his pocket. He’d thought about this decision on the plane and hoped that giving her time to think by herself would be best. He reasoned that him going back to what he did do best, not some butcher job, would center himself and his thoughts. And when he went home the day after tomorrow, they’d both be feeling better enough to talk through the whole incident, apologize, and come back together. As the taxi dropped him off at the hotel, his phone buzzed in his pocket but he was busy saying hi to Chloe to feel and hear it. They hugged, laughed, and he followed her into the hotel.

                “There’s an antique shop,” Cloe began to explain. “I guess the client said that if the shop owner knew how much this piece is worth, they wouldn’t just sell it, and the collector is a high-profile client.”

                “What the heck are we looking for,” Nate chuckled.

                “Well,” Chloe snickered. “I was surprised when I first heard it, but it’s a coin.”

                Nate blinked. “We’re stealing a coin?”

                “You’re stealing a coin,” Chloe clarified as they rode the elevator to their rooms. “It’s a crusader cross, gold coin. But,” she grinned and the elevator doors opened, “it’s on as a button.”

                Nathan blinked. “Seriously. Is it real?”

                “Doesn’t matter,” Chloe laughed. “we’re getting paid none the less.”

                Nate shrugged. “Do you have a picture of it?”

                Chloe nodded as she dug a black and white printed picture out of her pocket.

                They stood outside his door, Nate studying the picture. “And you know where it is?”

                “I know what store. It’s worth almost four thousand dollars. The client is paying me six to have it overnighted shipped to him.”

                Nate whistled and nodded. He opened his door, handing the picture back to Chloe. She followed him in, leaning against the wall as Nate checked out his ordinary and cheap motel room. “So,” She smirked at his actions. “What made you change your mind from last time?”

                Nate frowned. He really didn’t want to talk about his feelings, let alone his conflicts with his girlfriend.

                Chloe raised her eyebrows. “Did you two break up already? You have serious commitment issues,” she accused, but more like pointing out the obvious.

                Nate glared at her, clearly unamused. “We didn’t break up,” he clarified.

                Chloe crossed her arms, looking skeptical.

                Nate tipped his head to the sides. “We may be when I get back.” He sat down on his bed and shrugged. “We had a bit of an argument and I think we both need time to think about things.”

                She continued with the same doubtful look.

                “Really,” he insisted. He sat quietly for a few seconds. “She said… that I was being someone who I wasn’t.”

                “Well,” Chloe giggled. “She’s not wrong.”

                He grumped as a response. “I’m just not sure what I want, or what she wants.”

                “Looks like you have some serious thinking to do.”

                He nodded. He sighed heavily as he looked up at his friend. “What happened in Shamballa,” he said quietly, “it really scared me. And I have been shot at all my life, but I’ve never been shot….” His voice drifted.

                “Made you feel a bit mortal?”

                He nodded.

                “So, you finally want to go straight?”

                He nodded again.

“What are you doing here?”

                Nate crossed his arms and looked Chloe in the eyes. “Am I really meant to just stay home?”

                Chloe shrugged. “Probably not, Cowboy. But is that what she wants?”

                Nate thought to himself some more before answering. “She wants to go back into the field… go back across seas. I can’t imagine that she wants me to stay home…”

                She nodded.

                “If this is who I am,” he bit his lip and looked at his hands. “Then this is what I’m going to do.”

                “What? Thieving?”

                Nate smirked and nodded.

                Chloe got up and went over to her friend. She patted his shoulder as he looked up at her. “I think it’s you that doesn’t want to be a thief.” She reached out and gently bobbed his nose.

                Nate swatted at her hand and frowned. “I don’t know what I want,” he grumped.

                She laughed and walked back to his door. “Tell me,” she said through a giggle as she opened the door. “Do you want to die young as a legend, or grow old with the one you love and go quietly away?”

                Nate sighed.

                “Good night, Cowboy. Big day tomorrow.”

                He watched as she left and rubbed his face with his hands. He reached into his pocket, pulling his cell phone out. “Oh,” he whispered to himself as he noticed the two new messages. He read them silently. It was probably too late to call her. What was he going to say? He scoffed as he thought of several responses _. I’m with Chloe on an assignment_. Or, _I’ll be back whenever I feel better_. How about _, I’m still mad, I’ll call you when I’m not._ He sighed. None of those were good enough to text back. He wondered if she was even awake? He pressed call and put the phone to his ear.

                “Nathan?”

                “Hey, I’m sorry. I just got your message.”

                “Are you going to come home?”

                Nate gulped as he looked around. “Not tonight…”

                “Are you okay?”

                “Yeah….” It was a lie and he hoped she couldn’t hear it.

                She paused, probably detecting his lie. “Where are you?”

                “I just need some time to think about things.” That wasn’t a lie.

                “I love you…” Her voice said the words like syrup, so sweet to his ears.

                He smirked. “I love you too, ‘Lena.”

                “I am sorry about what I said.” She yawned. “I have made an appointment to see a counselor.”

                “Oh,” Nate said softly. He wasn’t a person who completely agreed with therapy, but if it worked for her…

                “You don’t think I should?”

                “No,” Nate quickly denied. “No, I think it may help… “

                “Will you get help?”

                Nate paused. He took a deep breath and looked at the door. “I’m going to try. I have a lot to think about.”

                “When will you be back?”

                Nate scratched his cheek. “I don’t know.”

                “Well…” She paused and yawned again. “I’ll be here when you get back. “

                “I hope so…”

                “Good night.”

                “Good night Elena.”

                Nate hung up the phone and laid back on the stiff bed. Not only did he have a lot to think about, but he had a big day tomorrow. Hopefully, he got the answers he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to write longer chapters. Haha. And so it begins. He's off to try his hand at what he's best at. Oh, but wait till Elena finds out! 
> 
> As always, I look forward to hearing from you!


	15. Coming home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan comes home from his little adventure, having big plans to make it up with Elena.

                Nate and Chloe sat at the cheap hotel bar. They were laughing and enjoying themselves after a successful heist. Nate found himself in an incredibly good mood, not only feeling like himself but feeling successful. The level of excitement and risk was what he was looking for. Lastly, this was one of the easier jobs, and he didn’t get shot at! It was in and out and easy.

                Something did bother him though, and his guilt weighed heavy as he thought of Elena as he and Chloe enjoyed themselves. He wasn’t cheating on her… the relationship was strictly professional. However, the guilt was still there. He struggled as he pressed it aside. He was also struggling with the idea of going back to a “normal” life after this.

                “So, is this going to be the normal thing now? Running away for short trips and easy money?”

                Nate snorted. He coolly took a drink of his beer and shrugged.

                Chloe shoved him playfully. “I know you enjoyed it!”

                Nathan nodded and grinned. “Probably a little too much.”

                “Look,” Chloe said through a cough as she looked at him seriously. “I know you have your own things to work through, and I think that if anyone can work through all the shit we do, it’d be you.”

                Nate nodded and looked down at his beer. He didn’t know why such a good time had to be ruined by his mental battle.

                “Nathan,” Chloe set her hand on his arm getting him to look at him. “I know what you want. I get it.”

                Nate scoffed and looked back at his beer.

                “I do,” she emphasized. “But I think you also know that if you come back to this life, your relationship will be strained…”

                Nate frowned. “Yeah… But I can do safe ones. Safe ones won’t worry her, like this one.”

                “She doesn’t even know you’re on this one…”

                He nodded at the obvious.

                “But if you are going to stay home and retire out of this life, you need to commit to it.”

                He growled lowly. She was right, and he knew it. But it didn’t mean that he had to like it.

                Chloe stood up, finishing off her drink. “Nate,” she patted his back. “I will send you a check when I get the money. You have a flight to catch.”

                Nate nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

                “Tell Sunshine I said hi.”

                Nate waved as she left the bar area. He looked at his watch and sighed. He did have to get back. He knew there only a few more flights that would get him back to California and he did want to get back to Elena. He thought about her in counseling and started to wonder if it was successful.

                During the flight, he thought about how they’d make up. His mood was really good, and he was sure that after a counseling session helped her organize her thoughts. And he knew that letting her think stuff over, and giving her space, would help her feel better. He thought about them kissing, him lifting her up into his arms, carrying her to her… their bed… His face grew hot and he looked out the window at the clouds. He wanted to devour her, kiss every inch of her, hear her laugh, see her skin flex and flinch under his fingers. It made him all the more excited to see her.

                He arrived back in California in the early morning. He was tired, but his excitement was keeping him awake. The sun wasn’t even up yet and Nathan had already decided how he was going to slip into bed with her and kiss her a lovely good morning. His key worked to open the door. That was a good sign. All the lights were turned off except for the light above the stove. He was silent in his motions. He slipped his shoes off, as she had always requested, and he tenderly stepped towards the bedroom. There he saw her. She had her back to him, her golden hair spilling from her pillow. She had her blankets pulled tight around her and she was curled up against another pillow. He had to stop and admire her for a second.

                As he took his clothes off, she flinched and turned around. “Nathan?”

                Nate hushed her as he pulled his socks off. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” _At least… not in that way,_ he snickered in his head. He climbed into the bed, pulling the sheets over his waist. “I just got back in.”

                Elena wiggled into him, sighing in pleasure. He put his hand gently on her hip and pulled himself closer to him, making sure she felt his hard erection. She moaned in return, softly, sounding very happy at it his need for her. He kissed her neck, groaning as he sucked on her earlobe. She giggled and wiggled her ass into his erection. He was loving it. His fingers slipped under her shirt, gliding them up to her breasts where they did slow and soft circles on the side of it. “I missed you,” she breathed.

                That was golden to his ears. He grinned as he thrusted against her and placed his lips by her ear. His hot breath tickled it as he said, “I love you…”  He licked her ear and nibbled on it a little.

Elena snickered and pulled from him to stretch. She turned to face him, his blue eyes looking intently at her. It was more than a look, he was so focused on her, nothing around them seemed to matter at that moment. It was one factor that she loved about him. She reached up to cup his face and leaned into a kiss, softly at first, and mildly awkward with the angle of them both laying down. But Nate was going to change that.

                Nate pressed forcefully into the kiss, pressing her back onto her back, and without breaking the kiss, got on top of her. Her hands instantly grabbed at his sides and she squeezed her fingers into his ribs as she felt the passion in the kiss. She didn’t know what had gotten into him. Maybe it was the idea that he didn’t want to be apart from her again. Maybe it was his way of saying he was sorry. She didn’t care. It was what she needed, rough, demanding, passionate sex.

                Elena felt herself groan as he grinded against her. Upon hearing her groan, Nate whined and throbbed. He parted from the kiss and reached for her shirt, tugging at it. In seconds, that was off, and as he moved from on top of her, both of them discarded their shorts. Then they were naked. But Nate wasn’t going to just jump right in. He had other plans. He kissed her. He kissed her on the lips, on the neck, both breasts, her sides, every inch of her belly, her hip bones, down to her knees and the tops of her feet. He looked up, smirking as Elena smiled down at him. He grasped her legs and pushed them up into her and he mounted her, pressing his lips against hers.

                Elena had to admit, it was passionate. It was familiar in so many ways, how she remembered him when they were young. A little bit of her brain ticked away as it felt so …. Good. Her back arched as she moaned his name and he groaned and grunted as he thrust hard into her. Elena felt embarrassed as she patted his shoulder and said, “not so hard,” because normally she’d really enjoy it. And Nate complied, even in his disappointment. She tightened around him, wrapping her legs up and around his torso and she screamed out in pleasure. Nate’s hands grasped at her hips, pulling her to him as he pushed deeper into her. He felt himself pulse with warning and he stopped to breathe. His whole body seemed to twitch with pleasure, Elena feeling his muscles tighten under her fingertips.

                Their foreheads touched as Nate whispered, “Fuck, ‘Lena…”

                She had to giggle in the moment. She liked knowing that she could get him off this well, in such a traditional position. It wasn’t even like she was trying either. She tilted her head up so their lips could meet softly. She and he would have expected them to burst with excitement and pleasure, but it was soft and even slow. She noticed his eyes were shut, and under her hands she could feel his concentration to control his breaths. He was trying to calm himself, to last a little longer. She’d guessed that she’d been moaning his name for fifteen minutes, and his excitement had rubbed off on her as well. She was tightening around him, pulsing with the same anticipation. As she tightened, she held his breath and his eyes tightened. It was almost amusing, a little game she was forming. She knew though that the more she played, the less he was likely to continue.

                It aroused her further as well. And as she played her little game of watching him struggle, she became more and more excited. She tilted her hips up, to deepen the connection between them and she felt his body shake. Her fingers grasped at his ribs, scratching down them in attempts to pull herself closer to him. He growled as he pushed deeper into her before thrusting a few more times, holding deep into her and he released himself. It was beyond anything she’d expected and her back arched as she screamed out for him.

                As they stopped, and Nate weakly held himself over her, Elena chuckled in her heavy breathing. “Well…” she smiled. “I’d really like to know what you were doing while you were gone to initiate that.”

                Nate smirked at he rolled off of her and looked for a tissue to clean himself with. “Introspecting,” he grunted. There were no tissues, but he wasn’t feeling the energy to move. He waved off that idea and turned back to Elena. “Took some time to think about things.”

                She smiled approvingly. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

                Nate scoffed and smirked. “I’m trying new things…”

                After sex was a favorite feeling with Nathan. She just curled right into him, feeling so complete, calm, and connected with him. His body was warm and she seemed to fit perfectly next to him. “I love you,” she said with a yawn.

                “Elena,” Nate breathed, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I took a week or two off. I'm hoping to get back into writing more soon. Let me know what you think!


	16. Remembering Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloe Chapter. Cloe reflects on the last encounter with Nate.

                Chloe laid on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. Her mind wasn’t allowing her to rest easy that night. He was still in it. And maybe for once, he was in her mind in a non-sexual way. She smirked. Okay… now he was, but it fascinated her that she kept thinking about him. Overall, she was happy that he came. She was so very happy that they were still friends, and that it was okay for him to join her on a small adventure.

                She marveled at his ability to get in and out of buildings so fast. Though other times she knew he was leaving so fast because he was running from other people. Chloe smirked. She supposed she marveled at his luck then. Nonetheless, she thought about how he was just good at what he did. After most of everything was closed, they made their way to the antique store. It was adjoined in one building with some other stores. It had a front door accessing it to the street, which Nate and she were both thankful that it was dark and empty. It looked more like an alley. They couldn’t complain. They knew there was an alarm, so Nate worked his way around to the top of the building where he was able to wiggle down into a vent.

                “I think this is a little too much work for such a small item.”

                Chloe chuckled as she heard him in her ear. “Yeah, well… that item is going to give us playing cash.”

                “I don’t think it’s paying all that well,” he grunted again in her ear. “Dear God,” he groaned, “I think they are making these vents smaller to prevent people like me getting in!”

                “Or you’re just eating too many doughnuts.”

                “It’s hard not to do when they are readily available.”

                “Sounds like she’s softening you up.”

                Nate laughed. “That’s one way of putting it I suppose.”

                She listened intently as he climbed through the vents. After a few more minutes of him grunting and swearing, she heard him say, “crap,” and a whine as he pulled himself off the floor.

                “Dear God,” he groaned…

                “Did you break it?”

                “Yeah….”

                Chloe rubbed her forehead. “Can you get to the back door?”

                “I’m checking the alarm system. Hold on…”

                As good as his word, Nate was able to open a window in an upper office without detecting an alarm. Carefully, they began surveying the store, looking for the item in mind, a button with a coin on the end matching the picture.

                “Uh, Chloe.”

                Chloe turned around and peeked into the room that she had passed. Nate stood over two large bins of assorted buttons. “You have got to me kidding me,” she muttered. “We don’t have all night.”

                “Do you think they knew it’s value?” Nate started looking at the buttons on top.

                She shrugged. “The client didn’t indicate so….”

                He sighed. They both stood over the bins and carefully looked at the buttons, trying to sort through them as fast as they could but with enough attention in the dark that they’d get the right piece. “Sooo,” Nate drifted his speech. “What have you been up to lately?”

                She shrugged again. She did want to have small talk with him. She knew she loved the adventures with him. That’s probably a big factor in why he and Elena were together; because they loved the adventures. He was just a fun guy to go out with! But she also remembered the little moments, and those were in themselves special. Thus, the small talk was special, just like those small moments. “Just trying to keep busy.”

                “No schemes?”

                “Nathan, Love,” Chloe tilted her head at him, looking at him with affection. “They are all schemes, just depends who’s on the losing side.”

                “Oh!” He stopped to turn and look at his partner in crime. “I hope that I’m not on the losing side here.”

                Chloe didn’t even grant him her gaze as she patted him lightly and went back to the buttons. “No, no,” she shook her head. “Everyone gets a freebie.”

                Nate squinted his eyes in a glare but she couldn’t see as she continued to sift through the buttons.

                “What about you,” she asked back. “What has the great Nate been up to?”

                “I got an ordinary job.”

                “Ordinary!” Chloe laughed as she tossed another button. “Don’t tell me that you’re working at a library.”

                Nate dropped his head. “Not a bad idea but no.” He tossed a button. “I’m working for a butcher just down the street.”

                “That is ordinary!” She looked closely at two buttons before tossing them to the side as well. “I would have never guessed that in a million years.”

                “Would you have guessed me ever settling down?”

                Chloe stopped to tap her finger on her chin. “No…. I don’t think I would have….”

                Nate smirked. “Sully has about three grand on that you will never settle down.”

                “Three grand huh!” Chloe elbowed her friend. “We can split that and hitch up.”

                Nate laughed at her joke. “Cute…” He stopped and looked at flat faced button. “I think I found it.”

                Getting out of the store was harder than anticipated. Nate stopped to look at something and when he opened the door to the room, the alarm when off. In a Nathan Drake fashion, they hurried to the open window and climbed out and down. With nothing obviously stolen and with nothing really to show, the police would likely just say the alarm tripped itself. They coolly walked down the sidewalk, hands in pockets, trying not to look suspicious as two police cars flew past them.

                “I do miss watching you work,” Chloe admitted with a grin.

                “Almost like a professional,” he joked back.

                “Eh,” she waved him off. “You lack the customer service attitude.”

                Nate shoved her gently.

                “So, what now?”

                “What do you mean?” He looked curiously at her.

                “You go home to your white picket fence and work your ordinary job and live the married life?”

                Nate laughed hardily. “I’m not married!”

                “Are you going to be?”

                Nate bit his lip as he thought, and honestly, it surprised Chloe that he thought on it. “I don’t know…”

                “You really think she’s going to be happy that you ran off with me to New York?”

                Nate shrugged. “Probably not, but she’ll get over it.”

                Chloe looked doubtful. “What do you want in life?”

                Nate stopped walking and turned to Chloe. “I don’t know why everyone keeps asking me that,” he said angrily.

                Chloe stepped back and tilted her head to the side. “Because,” she said simply, “we all want to know.”

                “What is there to know?”

                “I’d like to know if you plan on staying retired.” She turned and started walking again. “I just don’t want to see you lying to yourself.”

                “Now you sound like Elena,” she grumbled.

                Chloe adjusted her pillow as she sighed with her thoughts. She had to hand it to Nate, he was loyal. He was a lover boy, but loyal. She closed her eyes as she thought about how Elena was going to take it, knowing he had gone treasure hunting with her… let alone treasure hunting. She didn’t want Elena to think that they’d done anything. They didn’t. And Chloe was getting over him. She just wanted his friendship. She wanted to explain that to Elena. Nate was a good friend of hers and she didn’t want to lose that.

                She rolled over, feeling her body grow uncomfortable. She wondered if Nate would continue his normal business. He needed encouragement. He needed someone like her to rally him back on; to help him back onto the bike. But she also knew Nathan had a habit of getting into more trouble than he should. She was known for in and out missions. She didn’t dilly dally and explore like he did. And, as the number of times he got shot at increased, the higher the possibility of him getting shot… again… and one of these times would be his last. Maybe it was time for him to retire, to be normal, and to relax. Maybe she’d tell him he’d end up like Sullivan… She smirked at that thought. She’d have to tell him that. _Just think of that mustache, Nate_ , she thought with a giggle.

                She fell back onto her back and sighed. It was going to be a long night.  It wasn’t even as if she was bored, or overly troubled. She just had things to think about. She sighed heavily and rubbed her face. She was just going to have to disappear for a while. All the places she could go, Greece, Spain, England…. Actually, she preferred warm places to go if she was trying to get away. Chloe sat up. “Screw sleep,” she muttered as she pulled up her computer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm sorry I'm late! I was between jobs, then moved BACK to Alaska... Uhg. It was a long trip! I'm hoping that I'll have time shortly to keep posting these. Please tell me you all are still interested! Thanks for being readers, so that people without lives like me have something to do. Have a great day!


	17. The Reciept

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Nathan Drake finally home, Elena goes to forgive him until she finds the receipt from New York.

                 Elena woke suddenly, just waking and feeling refreshed. She looked around, noticing Nathan completely passed out behind her. Early this morning, when he came home, flashed through her mind and she grinned at the memory. She wanted to just stay in bed, cuddle, and embrace each other all day, but she did have to go to the office to help put some things together. It wasn’t what she wanted to do, but she had to prove herself and start over.

                As she showered, she thought about what the counselor talked about, in the one session that she had. It was important to take one day at a time and to breathe. It was going to be okay, and she needed to remember that. Next week they’d go over the possibility of medications and talk about a couple other things. It was stressful to think that she was so damaged in her head that she needed a shrink.

                Elena got out of the shower, noticing Nate was still asleep, and went into the living room to scrounge herself some breakfast. She was curious to where Nate had been. She had to wonder what happened while he was gone to come home and feel the way he did. It was just a bit weird. She was going to say that it wasn’t wanted. She smirked. It was a nice touch to making up with her. She could always go out and get something to eat. She could get fresh bagels, muffins, or something from the bakery that they could share in bed.

                Unfortunately, Nate woke up and was looking for something to eat when she came back with breakfast. “Sorry,” she apologized as she kicked off her shoes. “I tried to hurry.”

                “No worries,” he shrugged. “What did you bring back?”

                Elena smiled as the feeling of success rushed over her. She reached into the bag and pulled out a large muffin, handing it to Nathan with a child-like grin. “Muffins!”

                Nate chuckled as he took the muffin. “Heck yes.”

                “Did you start coffee?”

                Nate shook his head. “I haven’t been up that long.”

                She immediately rolled her eyes and went over to her coffee maker. She knew he knew how to make coffee, he was just being lazy. “Do you know what time you work today?” She asked as she poured water into the reservoir. “Usually he likes you there in the morning.”

                Nate nodded as he munched happily on his muffin. “He gave me today off.”

                Elena turned, questioning his comment. “Why?”

                He shrugged. “He said that he didn’t need me today but be back Friday morning at five am.”

                Elena raised her eyebrow.

                “I’m serious!”

                She turned the coffee pot off, listening to it drip. “How did you sleep?”

                She heard his hum in approval, probably because his face was full of muffin so he couldn’t form any words. She turned around to see him smiling softly at her. She had to snicker at him.

                “I have to go into the office today and just get a few things finalized,” Elena said as she reached into the paper bag and pulled out her muffin. “I shouldn’t be gone that long.”

                Nate nodded as he swallowed his bite of muffin.

                She moved into the bedroom. “If I get laundry together, will you do a load or two?”

                “Yeah,” he called as he watched the coffee pot drip. “I can do that.”

                Elena made her separate piles of clothes so he’d know not to mix and ruin any shirts. Although he’d only done that once, she was going to do anything she could to prevent it from happening again. As she picked up his pants, she heard change jingle. She reached in, pulling out the coins and a rumpled piece of paper. Curious, she opened the paper to see it was a receipt. Not just any receipt. “New York?” She called out angrily. “You went to New York?”

                Nate flinched though she couldn’t see it. He silently cursed himself. He had gotten rid of most of the other evidence. What did she find to give him away?

                Elena emerged from the bedroom holding a receipt in her hand. “Tony’s bar and grill? You didn’t just go there but you bought someone else dinner?”

                Nate bit his lip. As generic as this was going to sound… “It’s not what you think.”

                “Said every cheater ever,” Elena growled.

                “Seriously,” Nate said, holding his hands up. “I did not cheat on you.”

                “Then you better start explaining yourself.”

                Nate took a deep breath. “Chloe was in New York and invited me up there. I thought it’d be a good idea to get some space and to introspect about us.”

                Elena stared at him with an open mouth. “Chloe?”

                Nate held his hands up again. “I didn’t sleep with her.”

                “So, you just went up there for dinner?”

                Nate shrugged. “Yeah…”

                “Nathan…” Elena warned. “I’m calling bullshit.”

                “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

                “Apparently it is,” she yelled as she slammed the paper down onto the counter.

                Nate sighed. “It’s not,” he reassured. “She gave me some really good advise.”

                Elena blinked emptily at him.

                Nate scratched his head. “She told me that I need to decide what I want in life. That I’m fighting with you because I’m fighting with myself.”

                Elena’s face changed to something more concerning.

                “You were right. I’m living a lie. This isn’t who I am,” she said as he motioned to her apartment.

                “Then why are you here?”

                “That’s what we talked about.” His voice was softer as he stepped towards Elena. He reached out and took her hand in his. “I love you,” he whispered. “I really do. And Chloe called me out on it. I’ve never been one to love one person and to stick around for them. So, this is completely odd for me.” He reached out and gently grasped her other hand as he stepped closer still. “But I love you, and I’m willing to do this for you.”

                Elena chewed on her lip as she listened to him. “So, you are giving up treasure hunting forever? That’s just going to make you miserable.”

                Nate shook his head. “No. We talked about that. And it’s something that you and I need to talk about.”

                “You’re sounding entirely too mature right now.”

                Nate chuckled. “Well, it’s hard when you get back into the game and you feel right, but you are missing the one thing that makes you happy.”

                “You were doing a job?” Elena pulled her hands from him, eyes widened, and stepped back from him.

                Nate grimaced. He opened his mouth to say something, then shut it and looked down with guilt.

                “You lied to me!” Elena threw her hands up in the air. “Why do you lie to me?”

                “I didn’t think it mattered,” he defended. “Why does it matter?”

                “Because you tell me that you can’t go back to doing that kind of stuff, then you tell me that you are, then you’re not… and when you do, you just can’t be honest with me and tell me what’s going on!” Elena pointed at him. “You say that you love me, but then you hide this shit from me.”

                “I thought you’d want to go along with me.” He admitted quietly.

                Elena stepped back and rubbed her face. “What would have been so wrong with that?” She turned around and stormed back into her bedroom. “What would have been so wrong for me to want to go with you,” she yelled from the bedroom.

                Nate sat down on the stool and rubbed his face. Well… This was not what he was expecting at all. “You don’t even like me doing this illegal work,” he accused. “You want me to stop anyway!”

                Elena emerged from the doorway with her hands on her hips. She glared at him before turning back.

                “What are you going to do? Go back to getting shot at and reporting people like me?” He rose angrily from his seat and moved towards the bedroom.

                “Yes,” she exclaimed. “Do you not know me at all?”

                “We don’t want that lifestyle,” he yelled back. “What happened to normal?”

                “I want to change the world,” she turned and yelled. “I’m supposed to make the difference!”

                “Oh,” Nate laughed sarcastically.

                “What are you doing?” She pointed at him, walking closer to him. “Stealing from the rich to give to the poor? No! You steal from the rich, give it to the rich, and make yourself rich. There’s no making a difference in your world!”

                “Well aren’t we just conflicting,” he growled at her. “I don’t get it. You wanted me to be happy. Maybe doing what I’m meant for makes me happy. Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

                Elena chewed on her lip as she continued to glare.

                “You get to do what you love,” he accused in a softer tone. “Why can’t I do what I love?”

                “I’m not doing what I love,” she said softly back. “What I love is in the field too. And I’m in an office.” It was obvious to Nathan that admitting that she wasn’t happy was painful and his chest hurt to see her lower her gaze from him and start to tear up. “I can’t return back to the field and go across seas till my editor and editor in chief think I’m ready but I’m jumpy and paranoid about everything around me.”

                Nate sighed. “It’s not easy for me.” He reached out to touch her arm. “The job we did in New York was a simple lift. It was easy. We didn’t get shot at. And I realized that I’m really good at what I do, even if I’m getting shot at, it’s... my... legacy.”

                Elena looked up at him and wiped her tears.

                “You’ll get there.” He smiled, hoping this was the end of the yelling. “I think the counseling will help you and in a year, you’ll be back at what you’re best at. Just one step at a time.”

                She nodded and sat down on the bed as she started to think. “What if,” she whispered. “What if I go with you to your next job?”

                “What?” Nate looked surprised.

                “Yeah,” she nodded. “Next time you go, I’ll go with you.”

                “Wait…”

                “I’ll say I’m going with you on vacation, or to see family,” she nodded as the wheels began to turn. Nate could see the idea building behind her beautiful brown eyes. He wasn’t sure if he should be afraid or happy about what she was thinking. “And while you’re doing your thing, I’ll write something and submit it. They will see that I can start handling the pressure…”

                “Elena,” he interrupted softly. “If you’re not ready, you can’t push yourself with this.”

                “No,” she shook her head and started to smile. “No, I’ll take it easy. And you will be there to protect me.”

                Nate blinked. Apparently, there was nothing he could say now that would change her mind.

                “Do you have another job lined up?”

                Nate shook his head slowly. “No, I was going to contact some friends and see if they have any leads…”

                “Awesome.” She jumped up and abruptly hugged him.

                As they parted, Nate looked straight into her eyes. “I’m only going to allow this if you are going to keep going to counseling and keep working hard on getting better.”

                She nodded dumbly. “Oh, you bet I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I have internet again! I can start uploading more. What do you think? I think I would be livid if my husband went fishing without me, let alone on a little adventure!


	18. Sully Visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sully stops by to say hi to Nate and Elena.

                The next few days went by. Nate went back to his butcher job, still trying to be normal and work hard. He couldn’t say that he was looking for the next adventure. He wasn’t actively looking, but he’d already decided to take the next job that was emailed to him. He thought about calling Sullivan. He knew there’d be something going on in his world. But Sully was also working on things that Nate didn’t really enjoy so much, so it was fair to let Sully be. He really debated calling Chloe again but didn’t want Elena to ever think that she came second. There was so much debate in his head, and so many conflictions, that he was curious to see what would happen next.

                And other things were going on as well. Nate was feeling amazing. He was exercising, reading, and working hard at his “normal” job. Elena, though physically was doing amazing, was still depressed and he noticed. She was seeing her counsellor twice a week. He thought it was a bit much, especially since he wasn’t going to one. But she did seem to be doing better. She was sleeping more, which was something he was happy to see. She was going to work, and that made her happy, but she still wasn’t doing any “exciting” assignments. And after more talks with Elena, he was understanding what she wanted, but it scared him also. He feared losing her forever. He feared failing to protect her. It was easier to understand what she wanted than it was to explain to her his weaknesses.

                Victor Sullivan called and made a point to tell Nate he was coming to visit. Nate couldn’t figure out if Sully was still not believing that he was staying in one spot, or if he just missed him. It didn’t matter. Nate was happy to see his partner and friend. Elena tried to offer the couch but Sully continued to decline, saying that a hotel room was more of his style. Nate wasn’t bothered by it. Nate was more bothered when Sully came into the butcher shop to say hi. He felt almost embarrassed.

                “There you are,” Sully greeted as he walked up to the counter.

                Nate looked up and grinned. “Sully! Did you just get in?”

                “About three hours ago. Went and met with another friend.” Sully leaned against the counter and stroked his moustache.

                “I don’t know if I want to know…” Nate laughed.

                “What time are you off?”

                Nate looked up at the clock on the wall. “I get off at three.”

                “How are you liking the 8-hour shift?”

                Nate smirked. “It’s better than working all day in some jungle, getting eaten by whatever bugs there are, and getting shot at when we get caught.” Nate felt his chest tighten as he knew that was a blatant lie.

                “Going soft on me huh?” Sully laughed.

                He laughed in return. “I don’t think so.” Nate turned and looked behind him. “This isn’t the exact place to be discussing the things we do….” He whispered. “I get off in an hour and a half. Can I meet you somewhere?”

                Sully nodded as he reached back for a cigar. “Call me,” he smirked as he put the cigar in his mouth. “I’ll be around.”

                As Sully turned to leave, Nate shook his head. “Stay out of trouble!”

                Sully didn’t respond as he just waved and walked out the door. Nate gave a crooked smiled at his friend. It had been about three months since Sully had gotten them home. Nate was starting to miss the old bastard. As he started to clean the areas, thinking of how mundane and unexciting it was, he was also thinking of what he wanted to tell Sully. There was quite a bit on his mind. He was thinking of Elena or something else to do besides cut ribs and turkey breast, and there was his apartment. It was his own getaway. The place was paid for, but it’d become a collection area for all of his belongings. He only went there to store things or maybe to pick something up. He was debating on selling it. But that was something that he was very uncertain about. He knew that was giving up a big part of him and he wondered if he could convince Elena to move there with him.

                He laughed out loud at that thought. She’d never buy that. Even if his apartment was bigger than hers. He sighed. He wasn’t used to talking things out. He was a man of action. His instincts and his whole persona were of action and last-minute decisions. Nate didn’t really know how to “talk it out,” but he also wasn’t just going to wait on the decisions that he was making lately.

                Despite it being three in the afternoon, Nate found Sully at a bar near the ocean. There were a few other people there. Elena wasn’t. That helped. Nate sat down and ordered a beer, looking out an open window at the sea. “What trouble have you been avoiding,” he asked Sully who was leaned back in his chair.

                “Oh, little things. Nothing harmful.”

                Nate nodded. “Nothing too fun?”

                Sully shook his head. “It’s hard to go back to smuggling when you don’t have a plane.”

                He gave Sully a guilty look. “Sorry,” he sighed. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

                Sully only laughed in return. “I have resources…” He took a big puff of his cigar. “But, no, you aren’t.”

                Nate smirked.

                “What are your plans in this? Are you thinking of going back out into the field?”

                He shrugged. “Yeah,” he admitted with a grin. “It’s hard to sit still. I’m not sure how all these people do it.”

                “Well,” Sully took a drink of his beer. “If everyone was doing what you and I do, who’d be bringing us beer?”

                He laughed and rolled his eyes.

                “Not everyone can be as great as us.”

                “You’re in a mood,” Nate accused jokingly.

                “I don’t know why you aren’t! It’s Southern California!”

                Nate nodded, agreeing with his old friend. “I am open to any suggestions or leads,” he said softly as he leaned in.

                Sully studied Nathan. He could see how bored he was. His blue eyes begged for adventure. His shoulders were slouched, his posture was lazy, and his face was sagging. He wore a smile only to look happy, but Sully knew better. He knew Nate when he was in the field and doing what he did best. It hurt him just a little inside to see his prodigy in such shape. He wondered how truly happy he was.

                “I have a few, but nothing that would interest you. They are all small and silly.” Sully played with his cigar. “How are you and Elena?” It was an attempt to reach happier waters.

                Nate nodded as he sat back and took a big drink of his beer. That was an indicator to Sully. “We’re good. She's doing so much better. She’s gone back to work. She’s in counselling.”

                “Counselling?”

                Nate nodded. “She’s got PTSD.”

                “I’m not too surprised. She’s a tough kid. She’ll get through it.”

                “I think so too.” He nodded in agreement and took another drink.

                “Then what’s the problem?”

                Nate blinked. He chewed on his lip as he thought how he wanted to explain this. Of course, Sully, of all people, would be able to see through him.  “I want to go back doing what I want to do.”

                “Okay…”

                “Well… She wants to go with me.”

                Sully may not have understood the problem. He just blinked at Nate while puffing his cigar.

                “I can’t see her hurt again. I know how she feels, and I understand why she wants to go back into the war zone, but I can’t do my job properly if I know she’s in harm’s way.”

                Sully nodded.

                Nate ran his hand through his hair as he looked back out to the ocean. “I don’t know how to make her happy.”

                “Just be there for her.”

                It was simple enough answer, that was for sure. “I am,” he admitted softly. “I have been this whole time.”

                “Do you love her?”

                “Chloe asked me the same thing,” Nate looked down and began to pick at the label of his beer. He was starting to get antsy like he was being questioned by some big police force. But he knew it was supposed to just be casual talk. “And every time I think about her, I can’t stop thinking about her. I love her.”

                “You’ve loved a lot of women, Nate,” Sully laughed.

                Nate smirked and threw a piece of the label at his friend. “As corny as it sounds, Sully, she means more to me.”

                “More than treasure hunting?”

                Nate grumped. “I don’t think she’s going to give me an ultimatum. I think we can make this work.”            

                Sully coughed and rubbed his moustache as he sat up in the chair. “Well,” he coughed. “Can you imagine a day without her?”

                Nate frowned and sighed. “No, I honestly can’t.” A smile crept across his face. “But that’s what so hard, Sully. If she does go with me, I can’t handle losing her again.”

                Sully nodded. “I think I can understand that.” He let his cigar in the ashtray and began fiddling with his beer, swirling the bottle slowly.

                Nate smiled nervously as he leaned on the table again. “I don’t know when, but I’ve given it some thought…” He began to fiddle with his thumbs. “Sully, I’m going to ask her to marry me.”

                Sully’s eye grew wide and he looked genuinely surprised. That was something he’d never expect to hear Nathan Drake say. “Kind of fast,” he muttered as he picked his cigar back up. “But, I love the both of you. And if you are ready for that kind of commitment, then I support ya, Kid.”

                Nate smiled. He looked down at his thumbs and then out the window. “I need to figure out what to do with my apartment in Florida.”

                Sully laughed nervously. “One thing at a time.” If Sully knew anything about Nate, it was his inability to sit still. That apartment in Florida was the only thing that Nate had kept around for so long. But even with all the girls, all the commitments that he’d tried to make before, and even his previous relationship with Chloe, Sully wasn’t exactly sure if Nate could sit still long enough to be a husband. And he knew that’s what Nate needed to do. He wanted to tell Nate to settle down, get out of the game. If getting shot wasn’t a clear indicator to him, Nate was more hard-headed than Sully realized. “Well, after seeing you limp around with a bullet hole in ya, I’d almost expect you to give up this life.”

                Nate grinned, almost too assuredly. “Well, I really debated on it.”

                “Kid,” Sully interrupted. “You mean quite a bit to me too.”

                “Don’t get all gooshy on me,’ Nate joked.

                “I’m serious. I know you are very good at what we do. And we have had an amazing partnership and made some very good money. But one thing I have regretted over the years was not settling down when I had the chance.”

                Chloe’s jokingly words about Nate turning out to be like Sully rang through his head.

                “I just don’t want you to turn down something that amazing as the love you and Elena have for a silly treasure hunt.”

                “It’s not silly,” Nate argued. “This is what I’m meant for. I’m a Drake.”

                Sully nodded, putting up a hand to calm him. “You’re going to tell me that you’re worried about losing her and you don’t want her to go do the things she loves and lives for, but you are willing to put yourself in danger? Did you ever think that maybe she’s worried about losing you too?”

                Nate frowned.

                “I think this is something that you two need to talk about.”

                Nate scratched his head and grumped.

                “In the meantime, I will keep an ear out for anything interesting.”

                “And you’ll call me?”

                Sully nodded. “Sure thing.” He puffed on his cigar. He pointed at Nates head. “You look like you need a haircut.”

                Nate burst into laughter at the change of conversation. “Yeah,” He rubbed his head nervously. “It’s getting pretty long.”

                Elena showed up later than anticipated. Sully instantly noticed her limp. It was naturally in her stride and he wondered if she noticed or if it was going to ever go away. But she pulled him into a strong hug, which was more than what he expected. She looked very well, happy, with a big smile. “You look absolutely wonderful,” he was quick to compliment.

                “Thank you,” she smirked.

                “Nate here told me you went back to work.”

                She sat next to Nate, pulling his beer towards her, stealing it from him. Nate noticed but only smirked and waved the bartender for another one. “Today was a really good day. I was asked to go to the border and do an article on a tunnel they found.”

                “Sounds dangerous,” Sully commented, more towards Nate.

                Nate grimaced but didn’t say anything.

                “Naw,” she argued. “The cool part is…”

                Sully listened and took note of how happy Elena was, how excited and how herself she seemed. He wished he could say the same for Nathan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for all of you. I think it's pretty bland. But there's excitement coming up.... in a few more chapters.


	19. The call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friend calls Nate for help on a job. Elena wants in.

                Nate didn’t know when he was going to propose. He really didn’t have it planned out. But he knew that he didn’t want to live another day of his life without her. Maybe he did fear losing her, and that’s why he wanted to lock it down. And maybe he didn’t understand the consequences of his actions, but he still wanted it. He wanted to make it work, wanted to be with her. She was the only person that ever accepted him for who and what he was, except Sully of course. Having a relationship where she loved him for all his faults was beyond explanation to him. He barely understood it. But he wouldn’t argue it. So, it only made sense to propose and love her the way she loved him for the rest of their lives.

                Sure, he was scared. He didn’t think anyone was not scared when it came to this kind of thing. She could always say no. The thought of that made his stomach tighten and made him feel sick. He also remembered how his own mother and father were and he didn’t exactly wish for that. He wanted to be better than that. But Nathan Drake wasn’t about relationships, so to suddenly be convincing himself he was husband material was tricky. He had to put her above everything else in his life, and he intended to.

                They laid in bed, naked, completely satisfied. She and fallen to his side and leaned half over him as he laid on his back smiling. Her finger drifted down the bridge of his nose, along his cheek, and down his jawline to his chin. It felt amazing. She was giggling, probably at his smirk. His arm wrapped around her, holding her to him. He felt her finger start again between his brows, but this time going up into his hairline. Her fingers grabbed at his hair, running it through, combing his hair while gently pulling on it. In turn, he moaned in pleasure. “You’re amazing,” he whispered to her.

                “I think it’s you that’s amazing.”

                “Hmmmm.”

                He could ask her now. He could tell her how he wanted every day like this and that a day without her made him feel empty and alone for the first time.

                Elena’s lips pecked at the corner of his smirk and he turned his head to complete the kiss. Her face was soft, relaxed. Her hand cupped his face as they kissed again. It wasn’t forceful, or demanding, but more accepting and fulfilling. They fit perfectly, and he felt his heart beg for it to last longer. It was every meaning to him to keep her as long as he could. She would be his adventure and his treasure. As they parted, she hummed her own approval and placed her chin on her hand which was now on his chest, looking up at him. He put his arm behind his head, helping it prop up to look back at her. “You’re absolutely gorgeous.”

                “You’ve already had sex with me, Mr. Nathan Drake. You don’t need to flatter me.” She giggled though, knowing he meant it.

                “No,” he shook his head. His voice was low and a little rough. “You are. I don’t ever want to forget this.”

                Elena sighed as she tilted her head, wondering what he was meaning. She worried that he was going to leave her, again, to go with Chloe on some fun adventure without her. But he didn’t seem like it…

                “I love you.”

                “Oh Nathan,” she whispered as she leaned up to him, kissing him again. “I love you too.”

                As she settled next to him, falling asleep, Nate looked up at the ceiling and chewed on his lip. Just do it, he argued with himself. Just tell her that you want to wake up with her every morning. Tell her that you want to kiss her goodnight every night. He frowned as he heard her sigh and slip into sleep. He didn’t have a ring. He wanted to get her one, but this plan of his was going faster than he could keep up with. He took a deep breath as he decided to go look at rings, he’d go find the perfect one for her.

                Next to him, his phone buzzed and he looked over at it on the bedside table. He debated grabbing it. He should, it could be Chloe or Sully. But he didn’t want to ruin the moment.

                “Are you going to get that?”

                He looked down at Elena who was now awake and then back at his phone as he reached for it. “Hello?”

                “Drake? Nathan Drake?”

                “Charlie Cutter! How are you?” Nate pulled from Elena and got up, slipping on a pair of shorts and stepping out of the bedroom.

                “Doing really good. I talked to your pal, Sullivan.” Nate could hear noise in the background as if he was at a bar. “He said you might be interested in a job?”

                “I am. I was thinking of getting back into it.”

                “Even after getting shot? Damn.”

                “I’m doing much better,” he tried to convince Charlie. “But mostly I’m realizing that I gotta do what I’m best at.”

                “What are you doing now?”

                Nate scratched his head and chuckled nervously. He knew Charlie, his friend Charlie, was never going to let him live this down. “I work for a butcher right now.”

                Laughing ensued on the other end.

                “It’s not bad work, but there’s no riches anywhere.” Nate heard Elena get up and her pad over into the doorway. He turned to see her looking curiously at him. He could only smile back as he listened to Charlie give him a mild bad time. “So, what were you thinking?” He turned from Elena and looked out a window at the lights below. “Anything complicated?”

                “I guess it depends on your definition of complicated,” Charlie laughed as he tried to compose himself. “It could be dangerous. I’m actually talking with a friend to see if he has any other information on the guy. But it’s in Mexico.”

                “What? Are you stealing from the cartel?” He scratched his cheek as he joked.

                “Actually, yeah.”

                “Charlie,” Nate suddenly got serious. “What could be so damn important to steal from the Mexican cartel?” He looked back to Elena who was fixing herself a cup of tea. He knew she was listening.

                “No,” the voice on the other end disregarded his concerns. “We’re going to do it when no one is home.”

                He scoffed. “Uh, yeah. Of course, we are.”

                “It’s nothing worse than what you’ve been up to! Taking on armies and surviving train wrecks.”

                Nate grumped. “It was one army, a small private one, and I happened to save the world, thank you.”

                “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Mate. Look, you’re going to love this.”

                Nate felt a tap on his arm and turned to see a set of tired brown eyes looking up at him with a cup of tea in her hand, offering it to him. He smiled his thanks as he heard Charlie talk about what he’d been up to, leading to this moment. As she turned to leave, she drifted her fingers down his arm and casually walked back to the kitchen for her own cup. He knew, she knew, that he was watching her ass as she walked away.

                “Nate?”

                “Yeah,” Nate quickly answered to his name, but it was evident that he had gotten sidetracked.

                “Am I boring you?”

                “No,” he objected. “No…”

                “Point is, we just don’t have much time for this to go down. We have a small window.”

                “I don’t think that will be a problem.”

                “You can get time off from your day job?”

                Nathan chuckled. “Cute… Yeah. I will make it happen. When are you thinking?”

                “Next week, Tuesday.”

                “Charlie, that’s in four days.”

                “I told you a short window!”

                Nate huffed as he looked back at Elena who was really fighting for his attention. She was wearing a large shirt and was slightly bent over, leaning on the counter, flipping through a magazine. His gut tightened and his mouth watered. “Yeah, I will be there.” He bit his lip and watched as she swayed her hips back and forth. “Email me the details.”

                “You haven’t even heard what we are going after! You’re going to shit your pants!”

                “Charlie, I’ll look at it in the morning. Talk to you later.” He hung up the phone, tossing it on the couch and slid up behind her. His hands grabbed her hips as he pressed himself against her. “You on the other hand,” he groaned, “I’m looking at now…”

                Elena snickered as she stood up and turned to face him. He immediately picked her up and placed her on the counter, opening her legs for him to stand between. “What was that about,” she asked as he kissed her neck and groaned below her ear. Of course, she couldn’t hear his response. His face was buried in her. “Nate,” she laughed, pulling away and grabbing his face in her hands.

                He wasn’t amused of course. He didn’t want to talk. “It was a friend.”

                As he leaned in, smelling her sweet scent, he felt her hands press back on him. “I figured that!” She insisted. “What’s on Tuesday?”

                Nate grumped as he stepped back. “A job. In Mexico.”

                Elena stared blankly at him. She expected more from him.

                “Charlie is an old friend of mine. He’s got a job in Mexcio stealing something from someone. I’ll look at the details later.” He tried again to kiss at her neck.

                Elena pressed on him again. “Nathan!”

                “What?”

                “Were you going to tell me?”

                He looked around the room and nodded nonchalantly. “Yeah….”

                She squinted her eyes at him.

                “I was!”

                Elena jumped down from the counter and picked up her tea. “That might work,” she muttered as she started to think about what she had just heard. “The cartel?”

                “Yeah, some guy in the cartel had this item that … something… something… I wasn’t really listening.” Nate admitted. “I was too distracted by you.”

                Elena smirked as she looked at him, not buying his excuse to withhold from her. Though it was true, he did stop listening after she started distracting him. “If I go with you,” she drifted her words as she sipped her tea. “I could prove to my editor that I can handle tougher assignments….”

                Nate frowned. Why couldn’t they go to Fuji, or Spain, or Iceland… somewhere safe…

                “And then, I’d build their confidence,” she looked up at Nate, realizing the opportunity. “I could write on the impact the cartel has had in the area.”

                Nate shook his head as he stepped over to her. “Elena.”

                She waved his concerns away, almost seemingly knowing his fears before he expressed them. “I won’t be in your way.”

                “Damn right,” he insisted. “If you go…”

                “I am going.”

                He sighed as he gritted his teeth. “When you go, you’re not going with me. You can’t be involved. The Mexican cartel will hunt us down.”

                She patted his chest as she took a sip of her tea and walked past him. “I wasn’t scared of Lazarevic, and I’m not scared of some cartel.”

                He watched as she made her way back into the bedroom. _And how did that turn out_ , he thought sourly.

               


	20. The Appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena goes to a counseling appointment and it starts her thinking on what she should be doing.

                Elena walked proudly from her Editor’s office. It wasn’t exactly what they wanted, but she was out to prove herself as a capable war journalist. She didn’t tell them she was going into a war zone… it was something less than that. She said that she and her boyfriend were going to go to Mexico… Oh, and she was going to report on some of the cartel’s influence while she was there. They did try to convince her otherwise, saying they were thinking about other projects for her, but she insisted on it. “I’ll already be there,” she explained. “And I’m not going to get myself into too much trouble.” They looked dubious.

                She was off to her counseling appointment next. She was doing rather well. She did have a slight moment the other day but had followed the breathing exercises. The counselor also encouraged her to do something that made her feel empowered, something that would build her confidence. It took a day or two for her to think about it, but she ended up buying a gun range membership. She was good at shooting, and it did build her confidence. She wasn’t exactly a pro-gun person, but she had always been good at shooting. It made her feel sane, added some focus, and made her feel just as the counselor wanted, empowered. She was excited to report that to her.

                In the waiting room, she flipped through a magazine. It was on surfing, something she missed. Maybe she could talk Nate into doing some of that. He went to the beach with her. He loved the beach. His perfect retirement home was on an island on a beach, maybe with a sailboat. She sighed. She really did feel bad for him. She could see he was trying in so many ways and knew he was probably really confused. He was trying to go straight, trying to what was right, and he was drawn to the easy money of his former profession. But his money never lasted long, and he wasn’t always successful as a treasure hunter. They were more of a couple now than ever before, but she still felt he wasn’t himself.

                “Fisher?”

                Elena looked up to see her therapist smiling at her.

                “Are you ready?”

                Elena nodded and jumped up, tossing the magazine aside. The room was brightly painted, with a picture of a couple horses running, a white, roan, and black one, together. The therapist’s desk had a photo of her daughter and her on it, with some sea shells. She had some meditation music playing softly in the background. It was a place of happiness and comfort.

                “How are things?” She asked as she sat down. “Have you had any recent incidents?”

                Elena nodded as she began to explain how she was zoning out on the beach and she just had a flashback on the bright light of the explosion and it really freaked her out. Thankfully, Nathan was there to bring her back to reality. “I’ve started shooting,” Elena added to the conversation.

                The doctor set her pen down and looked at Elena with surprise. “Shooting?”

                Elena nodded, quite taken aback by her action.

                “That doesn’t bother you?”

                Elena sighed and she looked at her fiddling thumbs. “No,” she shrugged. “I’m very good at it. I can’t fear it. I need to conquer it.”

                The doctor picked up her pen and made a note.

                Elena curled a hair behind her ear and tilted her head.

                “Elena,” she said firmly. “I know that you want to go back into the field, and you feel that you are made for that role.”

                As Elena made the motion to encourage her argument, but the doctor raised her finger to stop her.

                “I’m not saying you are not but have you thought about that idea?”

                Elena bit her lip looking unhappy with the prospect that the idea that had been keeping her going for the past few months was not what she was!

                The doctor put the notepad down on her desk behind her. “You can be great, without being radical.” Her voice was soft, supporting, but almost motherlike. It made Elena miss her own mother.

                “Are you suggesting me abandoning my dream?”

                The doctor shook her head softly. “No,” she whispered. “You can still go across seas, be a reporter, and not look for flying bullets and bombs. None of that is good for anyone. And many soldiers that I work with feel the same way. They feel that they belong in the heat of the battle, but their conditions never get better. We want you to get better.”

                Elena looked at her fidgeting fingers again. It was a look of disappointment. So much rushed her thoughts. She was going to have to come to reasoning her own purpose as Nate was reasoning his. But somehow, she felt angry. She was having to give up what she had illusion as her destiny, and Nathan was going to do what he felt was always destined to be.

                “Just think about it.”

                And Elena did. The rest of the appointment went well, but she did not walk out the same way she did her meeting with her editor. Instead of feeling confident and powerful, she felt torn and defeated. Her walk home was quiet, at least the people around her seemed quiet. Her mind quietened her surroundings as she became overwhelmed with thoughts. Her apartment was quiet as well. This she didn’t mind. It gave her time to think.

                There were tickets on the counter as they were to leave tomorrow morning for Cabo San Lucas. Nate’s belongings were scattered about, but then again, so were hers. She made her way to her small balcony and noticed she was still limping. It was natural, and probably be that way for life, and the thought made her frown. She should be happy. She should put the arguing thoughts aside, focus on her own assignment and the joys of some relaxing time in Mexico. They were going a day earlier than Charlie Cutter so that they could settle in and enjoy the beaches. And they planned on staying two days later to do the same. She should put the depressing and troubling thoughts aside and help herself to happy packing and be planning her assignment for the paper.

                She looked out at the blue ocean with determination. Her brown eyes darkened as she began to think about what she was looking to accomplish. She wondered if Nate would help her get deep enough to uncover the cartel’s influences and expose them. Maybe she could interview the person they were stealing from and distract him. _Yeah_ , she snickered to herself. _Teamwork_! But she frowned soon after the thought as she remembered Nate strictly saying that she was not going to be involved.

                “Hey Babe,” Nate greeted from the door. “I got the time off!”

                Elena turned around on the balcony, leaning against the railing. “That’s great to hear. Were you afraid that you weren’t going to?”

                Nate shrugged as he walked over her. He looked her up and down with a grin, liking what he saw, and making it obvious so. “I told him what you told me to tell him: family emergency.” He reached out, grabbing her hips softly and pulled himself to her. He leaned down, rubbing his nose against hers affectionately.

                Elena giggled and lifted her chin so her lips could meet his lips.

                As they parted, Nate smirked and then tilted his head to the side. “You don’t seem yourself. How was the doctor’s appointment?”

                Elena scoffed and folded her arms in front of her. “I’m starting to believe that you should see her.”

                “Why? What did I do?”

                “She can talk an alchemist out of making gold!”

                Nate raised his eyebrows. “That’s impressive.”

                “Maybe she could talk you into being normal,” Elena joked.

                “I’m normal,” Nate laughed back. “I’m so normal!”

                Elena laughed back.

                “So, then, what’s the matter?” Nate tilted his head in concern. “What made it a bad session?”

                She laughed and brushed past him to go into the apartment. “I just have a lot to think about.”

                Nate followed her inside. He reached down and picked up a shirt and threw it at his bag. “As long as it helps…”

                Elena didn’t know how to respond to that. She wasn’t sure if it was helping or not. It was helping at first. She was feeling more confident and more sure of herself while learning techniques to help her cope with explosions in her head. Now she was thinking that maybe she should step back and try something else… Not want such a violent mission.

                “Are you excited for Mexico?” Nate leaned against the counter, waving the printed-out tickets at her. “Just a few more hours now. We’re leaving at nine am, Baby.”

                Elena smirked and nodded. “Yeah…” But was she? She turned and entered her bedroom to finish packing. _Maybe this will help me decide. Maybe there will be some sign_ , she tried to reason with herself. Nate was in such a good mood, she began to be a bit jealous of him, even though jealousy wasn’t her style. He was whistling and had a bit of skip in his step. _I am happy for him_ , she reasoned to herself. _I just don’t understand why I can’t be that happy_ … She packed a shirt, looking through some skirts and deciding only on two and two pairs of pants. Elena looked at her suitcase and sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long. I've been working on other projects and finishing up a class. BOY! I'm too busy! I need a day just to sit and write about my favorite couple.

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go, onto another story. Please tell me what you think. I will try to update regularly. 
> 
> Thanks for being awesome!


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